Tuesday, December 1, 2020

A tale of two Caganers

It's December 1st, only 24 more days until Christmas. 

Unless Jenna Ellis, the president's top legal eagle, has her worst socialist nightmare come true and "they" cancel Christmas. 

I don't know what she means by cancelling Christmas, but I'm pretty sure when she refers to "they" she's got those beady, overly made up eyes, pointing at (((globalist, elitist bolsheviks))) like myself.

Christmas isn't getting cancelled. 

Nor is there some imaginary Hebraic Inquisition -- "Nobody expects the Hebraic Inquisition" -- galavanting across the nation making Christians recant their faith. We certainly don't need them joining ours. Do you know what that would do to the price of ticket for the High Holy Days?

I'm happy to say that all the Christmas traditions are in tact. Including the world famous Caganer.

What's that? You've never heard of the Caganer? How long have you been reading R17? Have I taught you nothing?

You can get a detailed explanation of the Caganer Phenomena by using the search button way up on the upper left corner. You'll see I've written extensively about it. But I know, and you know, you're not going to do that. You come here for a quick 2 minute read, get your free laughs, get out and maybe, maybe just tell a friend or co-worker, "I read this funny thing today by some blogger, Dick Spiegal."

So here's the Cliff Notes on this odd tradition. 

The Caganer started in the Catalonia area of Spain. Where it's rumored several farmhands would go around to Nativity Scenes and place a squatting hobo figurine just outside the straw hut, where Baby Jesus is entering the world, and last's night's tapas are exiting Giullermo.

Naturally you can see why I was fascinated by this scatological display of heresy. 

But the Caganer has a perfectly logical reason for being. You see the poop represents man "fertilizing" land during the planting season in hopes the Lord and Mother Earth will bring about a bountiful harvest.

That's how they justify it. As a militant atheist, unimpressed with all Abrahamic religious fantasies, I don't really need any justification. All I see is a man outside a Nativity Scene, launching a lifeboat off the S.S. Assitania.

This year's caganer makers have added two new figurines to their impressive selection of Caganers for purchase. Including Precedent Shitgibbon. 

And now President Elect Joseph Biden, doing the dutiful thing by wearing a mask while shitting out in the open.

See, things are getting better already.

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