Wednesday, December 11, 2019

The Caganer, revisited


It's hard to believe but it's already time for RoundSeveneteen's Annual Caganer Edition. I believe, and I'm not bothering to check, that this is our tenth visit with the Caganer.

If this is your first acquaintance with the Caganer tradition allow me to elucidate.

Ten years ago I was working on the Acura Holiday Sales Event campaign. Eager to do something different, I started researching odd Christmas practices from other parts of the world. That's when I discovered that Spaniards, mostly in the Catalan district, often decorated their outdoor nativity scenes with a caganer, literally The Shitter.

Apparently he was there to "fertilize" the ground in hopes of bringing forth a robust summer harvest. I don't buy that, you can nurture the ground with a big bag of Miracle Grow. I think they did it because it's just so damn funny. Like the 25 foot Caganer who regularly appears at a shopping mall in Barcelona (see above) and uncoils (I love that word) his massive gift with the same regularity as the appearance of Santa Claus.

This year brings special import to the Nativity scene. Because this year we are witnessing a disgusting rise in white supremacy. Fertilized by the way, by the thinly veiled Nazis now occupying the White House. What does white supremacy have to do with any of this?

Well, truth is I'm more than happy to offer a hearty Merry Christmas to all those that celebrate. And despite the war on Xmas, always have. But I take special joy in pointing out that the Nativity Scene, sacred to the 4Chan gang at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave and the Red Hat Brigades, is populated with nothing but Jews, Arabs and other non-defined people of brown skin, who now regularly fill wire cages manned by our brave Gestapo soldiers. Oh My!

Let me repeat that. The nativity scene has not one White, Christian, or American participant. Not one.

I don't know why this makes me smile, but it does.

The other reason why this year's caganer is different from all the others, is that defecation is in the news.

Setting aside all the other issues of the day, like Ukraine, impeachment, nuclear containment, Russian election interference, etc., the president has decided to take up his precious time with the swirling problems with our sewer systems.

"...many people have to flush 10-15 times." -- The President of the United States of America

Effectively making Number 2 our Number 1 concern.

Put another way (and by the way, I could do this all day), Captain Ouchie Foot has turned the figurative Shit Show in Washington, DC into a literal Shit Show in Washington, DC.

Merry Christmas.





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