I would gleefully give a thousand dollars to any R17 reader who can identify this clueless clodhopper without the aid of the Google.
This is Senator Kevin Cramer, letter #48 in our Thursday Thrashing Series. A man with no discernible ability to listen or employ the kind of logic one might expect from a smart third grader.
Or a dull fifth grader.
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3.14.19
Senator Kevin Cramer
B40C Dirksen senate office Building
Washington, DC 20510
Dear Senator Cramer,
"To me, it's a lot to do about nothing,"Senator Cramer said of the Michael Cohen hearing before the House Oversight Committee.
Well, look at the big brain on Kevin.
What do they put in that bison meat in North Dakota that turns all its residents into verifiable Mensa genii?
It took me 9 months and about 47 weekly letters to US Republican Senators to finally find one who merits some intellectual respect. A man of letters. The Albert Einstein of the Plain States.
I probably shouldn't tangle with a graduate from Concordia College in Morehead, Minnesota. And God knows I'd be a fool to mess with someone who has a Master's degree from the University of Mary in Bismarck, but I'm a headstrong kind of fella.
A lot to do about nothing, Kev?
The man who was the personal attorney and official "fixer" for our Schmuck in Chief tells tales about bank fraud, tax fraud, insurance fraud, hush money and election fraud, and it's a lot to do about nothing?
But, as you and your brain dead colleagues have so astutely pointed out, he's a liar. A confirmed, scurrilous, moral-free, conniving, oily-palmed liar.
Yes, and he sat at the right hand of Captain Fuckknuckle for more than a dozen years!
Either our president was complicit in that myriad of illicit activities.
Or, and I don't know if you or any of you in the Senate have considered this, he is the worst judge of character of any human being that has ever taken a breath of oxygen in the entire history of mankind.
And by the way, if it's the latter, he's also the same man we have entrusted with our national security and who is conducting closed door, one-on-one, secret negotiations with Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un and Vladimir Putin.
If there's any doubt how those talks are going we can simply look at the debriefing statements or question the translators. Oh, my bad, there were no debriefing statements and the translators have been sworn to secrecy.
I'm going to go with the assumption that Mr. Cohen was telling the truth and that this was not "a lot to do about nothing" as you so eloquently put it.
Why?
Well for thing, he has nothing left to lose. If he were to willfully lie to Congress he would be facing additional time in prison.
Moreover, in addition to his oral testimony, Mr. Cohen brought documentation.
He produced financial statements, personal (and incriminating) notes from Precedent Shitgibbon, as well as canceled checks (signed inside the Oval Office for god's sake) as reimbursement for the money he paid to silence Stormy Daniels, star of Pussy Sweat and Porking with Pride II for which she was awarded AVN's Best Oral-to-Anal-to-Oral Boy Girl Award.
I choose to believe Mr. Cohen.
You, on the other hand, choose to trust the narrative of the man who has told more than 9000 lies since swearing to uphold our Constitution.
Why don't we turn to a trusted third party, a man who is the CEO of the world's biggest technology company, Mr. Tim Apple?
Or was it Tim Cook Apple?
Or was it back to the original Tim Apple?
Best regards,
Rich Siegel
siegelrich@mac.com
Culver City, CA 90232
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