Wednesday, September 6, 2017

School Daze

My daughter's college experience is turning out to be the complete opposite of mine.

She spent the summer studying abroad, working with an NGO in Kenya and then traveling to Tanzania and Zanzibar. I once made a trip to a bar in Skaneateles, just outside Syracuse, because they were pouring 99 cent Genny Cream Ales.

The dissimilarities don't end there.

The other night while scarfing down some vegetarian meal (another one of her new interests) she sprung it on us that she had made the Dean's List during the Spring Semester.

The Dean's List!!!

I don't even know what that is or what it entails, only that it was so unobtainable. Not unlike all the women at the Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority house.

I once got on a list during my sophomore year in college. But it was Residence Hall Disciplinary List on account of our stealing a fetal pig from the Bio Lab and crucifying it on a coed's door. True story.

But here's the biggest shocker of all.

With my daughter's graduation just 8 tantalizing months away there's talk of her extending her studies. Graduate School. And not just any type of graduate school, she's hinting at possibly applying to law school.

The talk is just preliminary. And she probably doesn't want me even whispering it -- Hint to family members: shhhhhhhhh.

But three more years of tuition bills does throw a kink, albeit a pleasant one, into my carefully laid out financial plan.

Which brings me to my lists of wants that will just have to wait:

An Audi S5

A second suit

A new jacuzzi with the Vibra-Fingers 9000 Spinjets

A 4K Flatscreen TV

Those 45 lbs. dumbbells for my Body Beast program

The Bosley Mr. Man About Town Hair Replacement Program

Calf implants

The HydroWorx Endless Swimming Pool

Guess, I'll just have to get by on nachas.

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