Lashing Out

Two weeks ago, Ad Age published an article titled: 50 Best Places to Work in 2015. I'm happy to say, and not in the slightest pandering way, that I've collected paychecks from five of them: Deutsch, RPA, Sapient Nitro, Team One and M&C Saatchi.

Who says I don't know how to butter that bread?

All due respect to the editors at Ad Age, who received a complimentary copy of my new book but refused to give it any digital ink, I think you guys missed the boat.

You see, for my money, and I'm guessing for yours as well, I would have preferred an article about the 50 Worst Places to Work in 2015.

As a freelancer with a dozen years under my belt, plus another twenty as a staffer, I could easily rattle off a list of 50 dysfunctional, mismanaged, political hellholes. If I drank another cup of coffee I could run the number up to 75. But then I might never work again.

My daughters would have to drop out of college. And I'd be reduced to living out my remaining days on store-branded macaroni and cheese and generic vodka. No. I'm not going to bite the hand that feeds me Wild Caught Alaska King Salmon sold at Whole Foods for only $29.99/lbs.

I'm not.

But I am going to reprint some choice nuggets I found on glassdoor.com, my new favorite website. And I am going to whip out the magic cloak of anonymity and let you do your own guessing and detective work.

As many you might know, I have a pet peeve about working late or on the weekends and believe strongly in a proper work/life balance. Apparently I'm not alone in this regard. Here's a choice comment from the pages of Glassdoor:

"A lot of people actually sleep here because they don't have time to go home or because it's 5 AM when they are done and it would be too dangerous to drive."

Holy shit!
5AM!

At that hour of the morning I'm in bed, deep in REM sleep and dreaming of Eva Longoria and subliminal train rides through the Lincoln Tunnel.

Here's one of a similar nature, at a different agency.

"Politics get in the way of results. 100 hour work weeks are standard"

100 hours? There are only 168 hours in a week. And I need 43 of them just for blogging, swimming, watching Jeopardy, and fighting with my wife.

This reviewer pulled no punches.

"Management is a hodgepodge of incompetent egos. They try to look like some creative agency but never does any real work. It's all social media stuff and banners. The entire thing is a joke."

Ouch. Not only taking potshots at the agency but also landing a few blows on the fragile chin of digital advertising.

Finally, and perhaps to demonstrate our endless ability to bitch and moan about our chosen profession, there's this from a new employee who takes issue with his agency's unique parking procedures.

"Someone's already scratched my car and it's only been 30 days. This whole valet parking idea is good in theory, terrible in practice."

I could do this all day. And perhaps we will visit Glassdoor in the future for more curated anonymous reviews. But right now there are pressing issues at hand. It seems I have purchased the wrong type of plastic garbage bags and my wife wants to go a few rounds.

Wish me luck.