In those six years, there have many ups and downs, including the financial firestorm of 2008-2009. But after hundreds of assignments and close to 1000 scripts, it has occurred to me that we've never had a formal Employee Performance Review.
For the purposes of clarity, I will be playing both the parts of Management (M) and of Labor (L).
M: How are you today Mr. Siegel? Would you mind closing the door?
L: Uh-oh.
M: No, no, no, it's nothing like that. We're just doing your Employee Performance Review.
L: Shwew.
M: It says here that since you've joined the company your demeanor has improved, you're getting along better with others and you're "having fun" again.
L: I like to think my writing is better as well.
M: Doesn't say anything about that in the file.
L: Really?
M: You've helped win some new business, you've got some spots currently in production and you're working with a much wider scope of clients.
L: At the beginning, most my work was for TBWA Chiat/Day, but lately I've been working with Y&R, Publicis, RPA, and a lot of digital agencies doing non-traditional stuff.
M: That's good. We're happy to see the development. Unfortunately, our shareholders demand greater and greater profits. So while you have grown personally and professionally and you have increased the revenue stream, we're not going to be able to give you any more money.
L: Nothing?
M: Not a thing. We're all tightening our belts.
L: I hear from a good source that you got a raise and a bonus. And you're looking at buying a new car.
M: Yeah, I don't know where you're hearing that from. But look the news isn't all bad. I was able to convince the brass to get you a promotion. It's not more money, but it is more responsibility and you get a better title.
L: A better title? What's that going to be?
M: You're the writer, you'll come up with something.
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