Thursday, December 10, 2009

Larry Flynt is right.

Larry Flynt is suing his nephews for trading off the esteemed family name and producing pornography that is an inferior product.

In an article published in yesterday's LA Times, Daniel DeCarlo, attorney for the Flynt nephews countered the claim with, "consumers of porn are careful and discerning when it comes to choosing products. Because they are well-versed with the brands that are out there, and carefully study the box before making a purchase, there is little chance that the nephews' line will be confused with Larry Flynt's films."

If you'll pardon the intentional pun, that argument is not going to stand up in court.

I'm not a purchaser of pornography, but years ago when my wife and I were trying to conceive, I did find myself at, how shall I say this, a "seed collection laboratory." In order to facilitate fertilization I had to fill the turkey baster with well, basting material. Fortunately the lab was wise enough and generous enough to provide a huge selection of films to assist in the process.

I can tell you first hand (again pun intended) that there was not a lot of careful discernment in my selection. Truth be told, they're all pretty much the same.

I don't know how other men pick their porn, it's generally not something we discuss with each other, but I usually go by title. And I'm a sucker (pun not intended) for a funny title. Something like "In and Out of Africa", "Forrest Hump" or "Free My Willy." And of course the all time classic, "Lawrence of A Labia."


Greg said...

Don't forget "On Golden Blonde"

Steve Morris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Steve Morris said...

The seeding room is the subject of one of my upcoming anecdotes. I've been there, too. One of the weirdest experiences in my life. Two more for you:

A Beautiful Behind

Schindler's Fist

glasgowdick said...

I'm also documenting my seed collection experience throughout the various "donation centers" of Southern California.

At one facility there was no visual stimuli whatsoever. I had to make do with a U.S. World and News Report. And some titillating pictures of Hillary Clinton in a jumpsuit.

That's right I used the words 'titillating' and 'Hillary Clinton' in the same sentence.

glasgowdick said...

Just heard on the radio that some porn production company is fast-tracking a new movie called
Tiger's Wood.

Pete said...

Saving Ryan's Privates
The Loin King
Throbbin' Hood
The Fast and the Furriest

This is too easy.