Do you know why I pulled you over?

You know me, I don't like to kvetch, so I hope you'll forgive me for taking the opportunity.

About two years ago, I decided, wisely, to sell my Audi S5, a car I loved. It was fast. Throaty. And extremely low to the ground. A great mid life crisis auto, but not particularly conducive to my growing sciatica and issues regarding L5 and S1. Funny how you reach this age and suddenly become fluent in the language of Geriatrica.

That, in conjunction with my growing search for tax write offs, led me to notion of leasing an EV. It made sense for my many "business trips" to Palm Springs to manage my rental property. And it would give me the luxury of incredible mileage without having to shell out $9 a gallon for premium high octane fuel. And this was before the recent Iran clusterfuck.

Moreover, I would receive special privilege to cruise past the teeming masses in their gas guzzlers, and make haste in the HOV lane. On good days with fortunate timing and driver assist set to 78 mph, I was able to reach the house in the lovely El Mirador section of PS, adjacent to the tony Movie Colony in under two hours. Or a shade above two hours if Lucy had to take a trump dump in the Rest Area  near Yucaipa Blvd.

But those good times were short lived. Can anyone guess why? I'll provide you with 3 hints.

1. Aquanet

2. Cholesterol

3. Wernicke–Korsakoff Syndrome

I'm not technically sure about the last hint. I'm not a doctor but I did get an A in Freshman Biology at Syracuse University ("If the check clears, you're admitted.")

In all his wisdom, our miserable Orange Hellbeast, who can't even manage proper pool maintenance, decided that he would punish Governor Gavin Newsom and the 50 million residents of California, by suspending federal grants allowing EV vehicles to utilize the HOV lanes. 

For one thing, I don't understand why me and my dog driving in the carpool lane requires any transfer of money. But I do understand how forcing me and millions of others, driving Teslas, into the high traffic lanes will increase logjams and increase the output of more carbon dioxide. Not to mention fueling hatred and anger of California drivers. As if our contempt for this braindead, narcissistic ass clown could get any higher.

November and/or the Big Beautiful Obituary cannot come fast enough.