Hot. Hot. Hot.

I have it on good authority that we, Americans, or people formerly known as Americans, live in the "HOTTEST" country.

Not the free-est country.

Not the healthiest country.

Not the happiest, or most educated, or even most livable country.

The HOTTEST!

That good authority, as you probably know by now, is a 79 year old man who still pictures himself in a leisure suit at Studio 54 with a knack for bedding the most beautiful women in NYC. Not because he's handsome. Or charming. But because he has millions of dollars. At least they think he does. If they had spoken with any executives from Deutsche Bank, they'd know he was drowning in red ink that goes deeper than Lake Baikal.

But by then it would be too late, and in just a few hours they'd be doing the walk of shame back to Chelsea. Or Staten Island.

The media gives this little attention, perhaps because we've become inured to his low rent behavior, his prurient way and his gobsmacking ignorance.

It's bad enough he brings his syphilitic antics to the White House, but there, behind the Resolute Desk, he also drags out his 5th grade knowledge of mathematics. 

"Drug prices are going to go down. Not 40%. Or 50%. Or 60%. Or 35%"

I love when he swings the hyperbole in the wrong direction. 

"No, you'll see price drops of 1400%. Maybe 1500%. Or 900%."

Uhhhh, Mr. President.

It doesn't work that way. In the same it doesn't add up when you fire the head of the Bureau of Labor and Statistics because you didn't like or agree with last month's job growth numbers. Frankly I'm surprised he didn't get her on the blower and...

"Come on, gimme a break. I just need you to increase the numbers by 11,780%"

And while the behavior of his little brain may disgust us, the consequences of what goes on with his allegedly larger brain have an impact on all of us. Most importantly, older people like myself who depend on the state of the stock market and the economy in general to ride out my golden years in relative comfort. Or at least not dining on soggy vegetable lasagna at a dirty nursing home.

Because here's the thing. Analysts, money movers, makers and shakers in the finance world base their predictions, their buys and sells, their confidence, their everything, on objective numbers that they can trust, that are put out by the BLS.

How do Red Hats not understand that?

We may be the HOTTEST country in this world. But my hope is he goes somewhere even hotter, where the heat is eternal.