Money in the bank

I got paid last week. 

Not in compliments. I don't usually get complimented. Curmudgeons who get grumpy because nagging back pain keeps them from their rigorous exercise routine tend not to get showered in a lot of flattery. 

And not in paybacks, in the form of refunds from my two grown daughters who are still teething at the paternal teat for cell phone usage and auto insurance. Thank you ill-conceived "family plans."

I got paid in real US legal tender, from the still legal US government. A rather longwinded way of saying I got my first Social Security check!!! Moreover the check was larger than I had suspected thanks to a last minute (and unexpected) COLA, Cost Of Living Adjustment, of an additional 2.5%.

Let's Go Brandon.

This excitement --are you feeling the excitement -- is tempered by the fact that this is by no means free money, like the bennies regularly handed out to US oligarchs, this is my money. Being returned to me after it was taken from me and I completed my indentured servitude in America's fastest drowning business, advertising.

For those of you who are younger than me (everyone) the process of securing the money owed to you by social security is not a simple one. 

I could have started collecting checks years ago when the data miners dropped a huge turd in the freelance copywriting punchbowl. Or I could have waited until I was 70 and tacked on another $1000/month in payouts. But I decided I'd go with my full benefits when the US government, in all their wisdom, decided I was entitled to a vocational breather. 

That was officially at 66 years and 7 months. Your mileage may vary.

But the tedious SS process pales in comparison to the bureaucratic abattoir that awaits you in the Medicare world. The learning curve is steep. Almost as steep as the step in my backyard that led to the fall that led to the cranky back that now requires an expensive visit from Manny the Masseuse with the magic hands.

A little more than a year ago I ran into LA Times columnist/writer Steve Lopez at a party in the Foothills. He has committed significant digital ink to the topic of retiring/semi-retiring. And we had a great chat about how to navigate the maze. If you don't read his column, you should.

I may not be the fastest walker in the herd, but I will tell you in advance, it can be confusing. More confusing than finding a football game on the streaming apps. 

As I detox from Trump, now a month into this cleansing process, you can expect to hear and read more about the retirement travails that lie ahead. 

But that'll have to wait, it's time for my mid-morning nap.