Mailbox Money

 

First, I want to say thank you to the many folks in our industry who have reached out with support -- privately and publicly -- following the announcement of my involuntary layoff last week. 

It's heartening.

Plus, as it was so eloquently noted by Ms. Muse, "People like you. They really like you." 

It's a mystery to me, in the same way it's a mystery so many companies, the ones that foisted the Long Table of Mediocrity™ and FFDKK's upon us, have soured this once-great business.

I also want to say you need not worry. I may still end up in a dirty nursing home, my greatest fear. Or I may make it to the finish line with the help of some Hollywood magic. Of course, I'm referring to Residual Checks (see picture above.)

For the layman, or as idiots in the Entertainment Industry condescendingly call you, civilians, residual checks are also called Mailbox Money. It's part of a unique distribution system developed to compensate actors, directors, producers and occasionally writers, for their efforts in creating "intellectual property." 

Simply stated, every time a TV show, or a movie or a performance of some kind, runs on-air or plays in a theater for money, the creators are sent a check. 

For someone like Tom Cruise, the size of those checks can be astronomical. Risky Business could be playing on the TTV, Turkmenistan's official TV network and Tom could be getting a single residual check more than you'll make in a year. Or even 5 years.

Now you know why those Scientology folks can afford expensive Super Bowl commercials, with the glitzy, cheesy special effects.

It goes without saying, or at least it should be glaringly obvious, that Rich Siegel and my participation in movie-making merits far, far less. Particularly since of the two theatrical movies I had a hand in, only Stay Tuned went through the guilds and spits out actual legal tender. 

The other movie was a documentary for homestore.com (Home Movie), a client of TBWA Chiat/Day, whose board members all went to prison for embezzlement and stock manipulation. I suspect any revenue produced by that film has been confiscated by the court and sent directly to the ponzi scheme victims, who are no doubt spending their golden years in a dirty nursing home and eating sloppy vegetable lasagna. Stuffed with broccoli. 

Yecccch!

In summary, I'll be OK. I may not be able to find another full time job. And with the swirl of freelancers out there, often lowballing their day rates to compete with free ChatGPT, I may not even be able to secure some gigs. 

But thankfully, I will always have the generosity of Hollywood and the Golden Goose revenue producing of a movie made 30+ years ago that is wowing audiences in Sudan, Urugauy and the far reaches of the  Kwajalein Atoll. 

Behold...