Wherein, I give Thanks.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. A holiday that presents its own difficulties for me and my family, as it will be the first without Deb.

As many of you know I lost my wife last December. My daughters lost their mother. My family lost the glue that bound us. 

Suffice it to say, the last year has been the most difficult in all my 64 spent here on Earth. As many of you also know, Grief is a searing pain, that dulls over time but then rears its head unexpectedly and with the impact of a well-placed uppercut.

Nevertheless, I want to give thanks because I am grateful and choose to take this time and space to acknowledge that.

I'm thankful for my daughters, who made the day-to-day living possible. They put their grief on hold and consoled me, lived with me and picked up life's duties when I simply couldn't. Without them, nothing would be possible.

Similarly, I need to thank my three sisters-in-law and my brother for seeing me through days when I was broken, numbed over and could not function.

And I'm thankful for the many, many friends who fed us, comforted us, and came to our aid, sometimes reeling from the uncomfortableness of it all, to be at our side. For fear of missing a name or two or a dozen, I won't name names, you know who you are. 

But I do want to give special acknowledgement to my friend of 40 years/ my former boss/my writing partner/ my accomplice on so many laugh-filled adventures, Jim Jennewein. He dropped everything on his plate to fly out from Brooklyn and shack up for a week in my living room on a crappy air mattress next to the doggie bed. In addition to his oversized heart, Professor Jim has the wisdom of a Talmudic scholar, albeit one who went to Catholic High School and Notre Dame and never memorized the Beatitudes.

I want to thank the widows and widowers I knew from my Suffern High School days, Nancy, Bob and Other Nancy. Who emerged from the blue and proffered their unique perspective about being in the Club No One Wants to be In. They have helped and continue to help me walk this difficult unchartered path that has yielded unexpected personal growth.

Thanks are also due to my therapists, individual and family, Christina, Michael and Mathew who have and helped and continue to help me, help myself. 

I want to thank Ms. Muse, for randomly populating my world, renewing my sense of joy, tickling my sense of humor and revitalizing my love of cycling. Oh and baking the finest chocolate chip cookies.

I want to thank my friends/co-workers at PayPal Honey or Honey Paypal who gave me a second chance after submitting a Subject Line: Here's what's trending besides football and Nicki Minaj's cousin's swollen testicles.

I want to thank the readers of this blog, who have reached out publicly and privately. I don't know why anyone would want to read my daily screeds, but I'm glad you do.

And I want to give thanks to Universe for the 180 degree course correction and for rewarding my resilience and pointing me in the direction of what I thought was impossible -- Happiness.

That is the way Deb would've wanted it. 

Of that, I'm certain.

Hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving.