Thursday, April 15, 2021

I'm stupider than a Red Hat


I'm proud to bring you the premiere posting in what promises to be a recurring Thursday Series. 

As the 8 loyal readers of RoundSeventeen know I have, on many occasion, exercised my right to laziness with the Thursday Photo Funnies. Wherein I slap a few photos from my iPhone up on the desktop, hash together a few funny captions and call it a day. 

Mainly Thursday.

I'm sure my fellow bloggers like George Tannenbaum, Bob Hoffman and Jeff Gelberg, will agree that sometimes there are just not enough things to write about. 

This is particularly true now that I am employed full time on the client side and have to be very careful about what I commit to digital ink. Once you've become accustomed to superior healthcare and low monthly premiums it's hard to give that up. Especially for a bunch of cheap laughs on a website no one cares about.

But I digress. 

Today, and because I am incredibly dumb and not hip to the fast changing innovations happening in the 21st century, and quite possibly next Thursday, and all the Thursdays that follow, I give you...


Shit I Don't Understand:

1. NFT 

This is a relatively new phenomena. And truth be told I'm not even sure what NFT stands for. Yes, I could look it up, but seeing as I am on restricted coffee intake due to some searing heartburn, I"m just too lazy. I know it has something to do with turning art, music, or even writing, into an own able digital piece with its own digital signature that can be monetized. But as I'm unclear on the phrase "monetized" I'm gonna leave it right there. I'll take another stab at NFT's when someone pays me to.

2. Cryptocurrency

Even though our parent company deals with these, and others like Bitcoin and Etherium, I couldn't name one of the denominations that promise to replace C-Notes and Benjamins. Keep in mind, I come from a family of Accountants, scored exceptionally well in Math on my high school SATs and minored in Calculus while attending college. But I'm pretty sure that part of my brain got injured when I fell off a step stool trying to change a light bulb recessed into our ceiling. 

If someone offered me $1000 in Bitcoin, I'd probably spurn their offer with, "No thanks, do you have any donuts?"

3. Blockchain

Having attained the ripe old age of 44 and having spent more than 30 years in advertising and the corporate world, I have by the process of osmosis picked the rudimentary elements of business. There's a certain timeline, not unlike the way a story or a screenplay unfolds, that all businesses follow involving, design, engineering, manufacturing, inventory, sales, marketing, growth. It's pretty straightforward and even an imbecile like me who has made a living with "Just show me where you want the funny words to go" can comprehend that. But now there's this new blockchain thing-- it's actually been around for a few years -- that has me stumped.

I've looked at the diagrams, read the wiki pages and even took a gander at Blockchain for Miscreants 101, and still have no idea what it means.

This is just the digital tip of the iceberg. I assure there are many more things that leave me befuddled, bemused and bewildered. Like how does that neighbor not get bothered by her own barking dog?

To be continued...



1 comment:

morissa said...

This journalist sold NFT of column for many thousands of dollars. The podcast explains it pretty well, but it still makes no sense.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/13/podcasts/the-daily/nft-bitcoin-cryptocurrency.html