Thursday, March 12, 2020

Pats on the back


Even at the ripe age of 44, I consider myself a student of the game. I make it a point to observe successful people, study their regimens and when, if possible, mimic their techniques.

Today I'm sitting in my home office working on some new email blasts for Harry's House of Catheters. I didn't say I was a very good student.

A clumsy segue to the topic of self promotion and the cringeworthy practice of patting oneself on the back.

In my many years working the hallways of America's leading ad agencies, I've seen my fair share of self spinal massage. In all its various glorious and surreptitious forms. But what we are witnessing now, often behind the presidential podium or on the south lawn of the White House, is a Master Class in delusional aggrandizement.

"We're doing a fantastic job."

"I'd give myself an A+++."

"There's never been a better president than me. Maybe Abe Lincoln, but I'm beating him in the polls. And I wear better hats."

These are not fictitious quotes. These are actual words that have exited the President's mouth, you know when he wasn't busy inhaling a bucket of KFC or some very well done steak smothered in ketchup.

If it weren't so pathetic it would be funny.

What's worse is that it's working.

Despite doing a decidedly NOT fantastic job on any number of matters: coronavirus, the economy, foreign policy, domestic policy, healthcare, immigration reform, infrastructure, etc, his poll numbers are rising. It's confusing, until you remember we live in a country where thousands of people actually bought and drove a Pontiac Aztec.

What can we learn from this?

People like hearing other people vouch for the work, whether it be from the President of the United States or even an overpriced freelance copywriter.

And while I could wait for a slew of complimentary references and recommendations to come pouring in, the more expeditious GOP-inspired method says why wait?

And so, in true Trumpian fashion I offer you this:

"I'm hearing a lot of good things, actually great things, from many people, about the fantastic job Rich Siegel is doing."

"If you're asking me to grade myself, and I think that you are, I'd have to give Rich Siegel an A+. And many others are giving me an A++. They say, "sir, that was a fabulous job you did." And then they thank me. A lot."

"The ratings and the reviews for Rich Siegel are starting to come in. From all over. Fabulous. Just fabulous. They're saying things like, "if I needed a manifesto or an anthem to be written, Rich Siegel would be my first choice. I wouldn't even ask him if he could lower his day rate." 




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