Going to my quiet place

Like many of you, I woke up the day after last week's Senate Judicial Hearings disheartened, disillusioned and disgusted.

Despite the compelling testimony of Dr. Ford and the revolting performance by BK, the Kavinator, Brettster, Captain Boof, it appeared the ruling party was going to confirm his nomination and move him one step closer to the Supreme Court.

The odd thing is even if you were to gauge both their testimonies equal and verifiable, thus canceling each other out, there was so much in the day's events that would disqualify the BrettMeister from the position, starting with his Trump-inspired Robe Rage.

I don't know about you, but there are certain qualities I look for in a judge, whether they're on the Supreme Court or adjudicating one of the many disputes I'm having with my white trash neighbors in small claims court.

I like my judges, cool, calm and collected. I prefer them to be Semitic so I can play the Jew Card, but that's a different story.

Also, call me crazy, but I think judges should be forthright and honest. Able to respond to Yes/No questions with Yes/No answers. Hemming and hawing is not a good look for a judge, particularly while on national TV. Furthermore Brett-Bro, no one wants to hear your evasive rambling any more than we want to listen to the Jeopardy contestants during the obligatory Alex Trebek interview.

Equally annoying is the goddamn lying!

Perjury Count #1 -- "Boofing refers to flatulence."

Perjury Count #2 -- "Renate Alumnus means we were all friends with her."

Perjury Count #3 -- "Ralphing is not about alcohol consumption, though I do like beer. I like beer a lot. Do you like beer? I like beer. I also have a weak stomach. And put ketchup on my spaghetti."

Finally, and this may the most important criteria of all, I want a judge who has a sense of humility and decency. One who recognizes his, or her, own faults, and owns them. I grew up in a Catholic neighborhood and know a lot of choir boys who are not choir boys. Moreover, this isn't just about you. The court is bigger than you. Much bigger.

Kavanaugh should have been able to put his careerism to the side, looked at the big picture and for the good of the country, stepped aside. In other words, the honorable thing from a man who insists on being called "Your Honor."

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On a separate note. As I mentioned, last Friday morning I was feeling foul. So much so that when I came across a Facebook posting from Senator Steve Daines from Montana, gloating about the near certain confirmation of his boy, I did what I shouldn't have done.

This was the picture on the Senator's post...

And so, while I was in a fire-spitting mood, I wrote, "I hope you die and get reincarnated as a slow moving three-legged Bighorn Sheep."

Consequentially, I was handed down a 30 day block on Facebook. This may be the universe sparing me a heart attack. In any case, I fucked up. I know I fucked up. I'm sorry I fucked up. And now I'm taking my medicine for fucking up.

See Brett, that's how it's done. Pass the ketchup.