Did someone say Illuminati?

If you've been following at all you know I have had quite a few back and forth with Roland Kings, who had invited me to join the Illuminati.

It's not a real invitation at all but just the latest twist on the Nigerian Scam, which I know quite well.

I can't do a total recap, suffice to say I told Roland I had to fly to Los Angeles to get my dog Mantu a vital operation, in other words anything to delay sending the $299 for my Illuminati initiation kit.

I used the invitation from another scammer to throw Roland for a loop. He wisely chose to focus on me and my dog Mantu.

To calm my fears about the other invitation, he even had a friend of his, Dan Perry pose as an attorney and try to calm my fears. 

To keep this concise and moving along, I disposed of Jam Berry as quickly as possible.

Roland is laser focused about getting his money. And can you blame him?

Of course I've turned Nigerian procrastination into a high art. (Well, I like to think I have.)

I love how Roland keeps it personal, as if he really cares about my short legged furry friend.

But he's not getting any of my money until he starts divulging some secret Illuminati rituals, you know the good stuff.

And that gets us mostly caught up. Tune in next week for stories about Steve Guttenberg, Pebble Beach Golf Club memberships and transexual concubines.