Tuesday, April 3, 2018

An Open Letter to Pizza Hut

Dear Pizza Hut,

We have history.

Over the past 13 years I have worked on your account. Not just once. Not just twice. But on several occasions. And while you don't know me, I know you. As such, I feel like I can speak openly. Honestly. Frankly, frankly.

You see I just read that you are splitting up with your ad agency, Droga5.

After only two short years. Sadly, this is not a rare occurrence. You have been making up and breaking up with ad agencies for quite some time now. Chances are, two years from now, or even one year given our collective shrinking attention spans, you'll be doing this wasteful review thing again.

Let me break it down for you. The problem isn't the ad agency. Most the agencies you've been working with are filled with talented people who want to bring their creative magic to the table.

The problem isn't even you. As a freelancer, I never dealt directly with anyone on the corporate side, but again I'd suggest most of your people are good, hard working folks who only want what's best for The Hut.

The problem is, and none of the competing agencies will tell you this, the pizza.
It sucks.
I mean it really sucks.
And it's not like I'm the first person to say it to your face. Have you read the comments on the Pizza Hut Facebook page?

"We had no food in the house and then my girlfriend said let's order some Pizza Hut. Then we remembered we had it a few weeks ago. So we ate the dog's food instead."

I was born and bred in New York City and I'm not sure you could even call what you make, pizza. Of course Cheesy Ketchup Toast Hut doesn't have a lot of taste appeal.

Here's what I suggest:

* Cut your advertising budget in half.

* Spend that money on making the pizza better.

* Invest in ingredients, equipment and employees.

* And for god's sake cut the menu down to size.

* No one wants a shrimp & artichoke stuffed crust pizza. No one.

When you get all that done, then and only then is it time to consider a new ad agency.

In fact, maybe (and you must have seen this coming) you don't need an entire ad agency. I'm thinking two seasoned creative guys who know their way around cheese pulls and starburst price tags can handle the whole magilla.

Let me know.

Rich Siegel


Tony Mariani said...

Amen Rich.

Alex said...

The last time i ordered Pizza Hut it was damn near 80% crust. And I'm not sure what kind of cheese their using, but it's just bad.

Anonymous said...

Had not had Pizza Hut pizza for 15 years because it was so bad then. Got pulled in by the triple treat box..
OMG, it sucked WORSE...this pizza, and the included...uhhh...”breadsticks”...tasted like absolute crap. No, not true, because that would infer some amount of flavor...this crap was literally tasteless. You guys need to be out of business...as far as I’m concerned, you are.

Ro H said...

Pizza Hut is a joke