Monday, April 9, 2018

Fightin' Words

 I like a good fight.

Not the physical kind. My sparring days at karate class are long gone and my breathing is still pained from the many shots and roundhouse kicks I took to the ribs.

These days the fighting is all done in the ether, via the interwebs. Most often it takes place on the Facebook Fox News website, where I love to put up my dukes with good old fashioned facts and figures.

As I've mentioned on this blog before, trolling is more than a hobby I do between writing for pay, it's actually therapeutic and keeps my cerebral cylinders firing on all counts. And it's harmless, like hitting the heavy bag because its incapable of fighting back. Meaning the aficionados on Fox are quite defenseless.

Most resort to weak ad hominem attacks.

What am I talking about it? Well, you see because most are unable to rebuke my statements of fact or my premises of logic, they retreat and go after me. In addition to the hackneyed Libtard and Snowflake, they roll out the childish insults about my mustache, my residency in California or, and this is my favorite, my Facebook profile picture.

The hat, the pussyhat, is like chumming the water for fishbrained fifth grade dropouts. They simply cannot resist its shiny charm.

"Oh yeah, like I'm gonna listen to some guy in a pussyhat."

"Nice hat honey, why don't you make me a sammich?"

"Meet me at the gun store, we can get you a nice AR-15 and maybe we can find you a new set of balls."

It's a potpourri of America's finest thinkers. 

If there were an Anti-Mensa Society, these assbananas (my new favorite term) would be chartered officers.

If I were more mature, more Zen Buddhist in my approach to life, more at ease with the way the world is going I would walk away and ignore these testosterone-fueled douche-bro's. 

But I'm not. 

And take embarrassingly immense joy putting these helpless clods in their place. Not unlike the way the panel on CNN gleefully rip apart Jack Kingston.

I also have to laugh at their warped perspective on what makes a man.

I'm 44 years old, I own my house, I have provided for my family and my extended family, held jobs since I was 14, and completed a various assortment of marathons and triathlons. So I don't worry about fitting into their narrow Duck Dynasty definition of masculinity. 

I actually find it quite laughable.

Then I like to point out, that as a vigorous supporter of my wife's rights and the rights of my two daughters, I am am unabashed lover of women. If you don't love women the way I do, then, I like to ask, whose manhood is really in question?


Anonymous said...

What a stupid hat!!111!!!111!!11!!!!!

JohnCarter said...

Love the pussy hat. Happen to have one myself.

Théo said...

It's not a real pussyhat unless you knit it yourself.