Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Have a Coke and A Mile ...of bullshit

Woodward and Bernstein had their Deep Throat, I have mine.

He's an award winning copywriter of some renown. And he still slaves -- meaning he has to sit at the long table with the industrial noise canceling headphones -- from the inside of the salt mine, so I'm going to maintain his anonymity.

But he likes to send me presents from the Orwellian world of agency/client nonsense.

Months ago he clued me in to the 2016 Planning-Ness Conference.

I'm still kicking myself for missing that one.

He also sent me to the it-never-gets-old Youtube channel of Planners Talking Planning. If you like hemming and hawing and jargon-filled winging and dinging as much as I do, you'd better clear your plate and start popping the popcorn. This is a video nirvana of vacuous, self-important navel-gazing.

Last week, my Deep Throat dropped another winner on me.

It comes straight from the Coca Cola Company, which I find shocking since I always thought of them as much smarter than their brown fizzy water brethren at Pepsi, who you might remember spent close to $83 billion dollars for a simple logo redesign. (Tell me you didn't bookmark that website)

Before I unveil the Coca Cola video, it should be noted that I did not make it all the way to the end of the 17 minute chefs d'oeuvre. And perhaps the piece comes around after the grating VO no longer grates. And maybe the audience will walk away far the better for enduring the fakakta marketing jib-jabbery.

I simply couldn't.

I felt the gag reflex coming on the minute the narrator started shitting his pants over the difference between Creative Excellence and Content Excellence.

Then again, what do I know? I've never been able to...wait, let me quote the video..."Create ideas so contagious they cannot be controlled, we call this liquid content development." 

I'm old school and have no idea what liquid content development means, maybe some guy named Farkwa or Shinji or Dinsdale could explain.

I say, give me the brief.
I'll write the script.
You send me the check.

Like I said, what do I know? Enjoy.


george tannenbaum said...

Here's the scariest thing.
That 17 minute Coke video has 154K views on YouTube.

John said...

John Scully used to say marketing was pure theater. Now marketing is pure bullshit.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what is worse, that video or the comments below it...