Thursday, February 26, 2015

The 6 Year Itch

If you look closely at the swarthy fellow in the picture above, you'll notice something unusual. No, not the hairy forearms, but close.

The man has 6 fingers on each hand.

He was selected for today's post because as of Saturday, my birthday, this blog will have been around for 6 long years.

RoundSeventeen. Biting the hand that feeds it since 2009.

As I approach my 44th birthday I find it hard to believe I'm still writing this thing. I find it even harder to believe anyone is still reading this thing.

Last week I was chatting with my good friend Mike Folino. And by chatting I mean exchanging emails, because I rarely talk to anyone on the phone these days. It's all part of my slipping into hermitude campaign.

RoundSeventeen. Angrily creeping towards obscurity since 2009.

Mike insists, with my prolific posting here and my semi-regular bashing of Kim Jung Un, I am quickly approaching critical mass. He predicts, foolishly so, that soon I will be flooded with waves of new readership. Adding that some publication house will surely hear your name and make big things happen.

RoundSeventeen. Circling the porcelain arena since 2009.

Of course Mike is also a freelance copywriter.

So while he is no doubt a friend, he is also the competition. It goes to reason therefore, that if I'm spending an inordinate time blogging and posting my geo-political nonsense, I'm spending that much less time focused on copywriting.

Meaning Mike could swoop in and grab all those lucrative assignments: manifestos for mattress companies, taglines for accounting software developers and banner ads for ColostCo, America's premier maker of colostomy bags.

RoundSeventeen. Celebrating 6 glorious years of underachievement.

In any case, this is a good opportunity to thank you all for showing up.

And for paying your monthly dues in order to access my daily diatribes…wait a minute. No one has been monthly dues. If I'm not mistaken, I believe the appearance of passive non-existent revenue is the first sign of early senility.

I'm going to sock this picture away, because if I'm still writing R17 six years from now, I can use it again.

RoundSeventeen. Recycling jokes and beating a dead horse since 2009.


Tony Mariani said...

Mr. Swarthy gives a whole new meaning to the five finger shuffle!

julian_koenig said...

Round Seventeen. Giving me daily reasons to put off writing that colon stapler iPad app since 2009.

Thanks. And, uh, congrats?

george tannenbaum said...

I suppose you heard about the man with five penises.

His condoms fit him like a glove.