Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Is it Kanye or Sir Blogs-A-Lot?

Had I the wherewithal, and the mysterious ability to code and script Java, and differentiate between a domain, a server and a flick flack confabulator, I would have built a website based on the simple premise:

Is this lyric from Kanye West or was it written by Rich Siegel?

You've seen these type of novelty websites before. And they make for fun diversion that gets ink on Buzzfeed, Mashable and other digital magazines that add nothing to our lives. Much like this blog.

But the truth is, right now I have too many side hustles going on as it is.

In addition to R17, I have a tumblr that regularly pokes fun at Kim Jung Un. I've personally taken it upon myself to wage a vigorous battle against religion and the forces, often violent, of fairy tale worship. I'm still trying to craft a collection of short stories.

And of course, I've been working' like a merkin' to put two girls through college. So, I've taken the simpler, less laborious approach of making this game a posting.

Without further ado, let's begin.


She said gimme that jimmy,
don't put no hat on,
make it snappy,
poody tat want to get her freak on.

The question is, was this rap "lyric" "written" by the man who regularly makes an ass of himself on the red carpet, on stage, or just anywhere he opens his mouth. Or was it written by the fat, bald Jew who makes an ass of himself on a daily basis?

Next up.


You ain't my boss,
You ain't my master,
Come at me I reach for my blaster.
You want it clean there's the mop
You want it fixed don't look at me bitch
I'm outtahere
I'm outtahere
I'm outtahere
You don't matter here.

Oooh, are you feeling the workplace anger there? Did it come the apparently-blind, aspiring fashion designer or the husky 44 year old copywriter with anger management issues?

Getting the hang of this? Here's another.


Are you feelin' me?
Or you dealing' me?
It don't figure,
my n*gga,
You feelin' my trigga?
Done my time at Rikers,
with bars as thick as ficas,
Not going back, 
no way no how.
I like my beef from a Grade A Kobe cow.

That one was tricky. Does it come from the man who famously cut off Taylor Swift? Or is the handiwork of the henpecked husband who brings home the wrong trash bags?


Ay gurl.
Ay gurl.
Wassup gurl?
Whatcha doing Ye?

Think you got it?

Now without using The Goggle, which of the two of the aforementioned lyrical snippets were written by the man who said, "I am a proud non-reader of books."

And which lyrics were written by Kanye West.

Leave your answers in the comment section. Winners will receive an autographed copy of my upcoming book.

1 comment:

future pilgrim said...

I love the summation paragraph. What kind of an author is a "proud non-reader of books?" I guess an angry bald one - still, I suspect that you may not be as angry as you let on.

I'm gonna go with A & C Siegel
B & D Kanye

If I win I'll still buy your book - I'm playing for the autograph.