Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Food For Thought

The more astute of you are likely to cry foul.

"Rich", you'll say, "aren't you the one that is always railing against imbeciles using their iPhones while driving?"

But the more, more astute of you will recognize this as the 405 North, otherwise known as America's largest parking lot. And this picture was snapped at the height of rush hour when literally nothing was rushing.

For the uninformed, this is a grease truck. It isn't everyday you see one of these hauling away old restaurant lard.

Naturally it reminded me of a classic episode from the Simpsons when Homer discovers that certain companies will actually buy old grease. He then steals the stache being hoarded by the school's janitor, Groundskeeper Willie. The outraged Scotsman catches Homer and proclaims, "That's my retirement grease."

It also reminded me of the many years I spent working in the restaurant industry. If I never come within 10 feet of another deep fryer I will go to my grave a happy man. Next to the always malfunctioning HP All-in-One OfficeJet, the deep fryer could be the worst machine man has ever assembled.

I still have vivid memories of the large white bricks of lard that would come delivered in blue vinyl bags. Even at its freshest, when the fat was in a semi-solid state, it would emit an odor that was the diametric opposite of appetizing.

Perhaps that's why I was drawn to take this picture and would risk a moving violation ticket from the CHP.

The Orwellian sign reads: Inedible Waste Shortening, a Non-Hazardous Product.

Not sure why the word Inedible was necessary.

I don't know many people who would make the mistake of uncapping a truck full of used restaurant grease and then helping themselves to an impromptu breakfast snack. But if someone was willing to uncoil the green hose, turn on the pump and start lapping up the contents, I'd be willing to pay to watch it.

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