Thursday, March 4, 2010

G-d Bless You

I realize that people who carry signs like this or put up websites like (thanks go to my deicidal buddy Alex Grossman for the link) do not merit any attention or response, but it's a slow news day and picking apart their logic is like shooting gefilte fish in a barrel.

The only hard part is knowing where to start.

So let's start with the end. If Jesus really was the son of G-d and did fulfill the Lord's prophecy then wasn't his crucifixion all part of the master plan? What if, G-d forbid, he didn't die on the cross and instead fell victim to gall stones. Think how that would have altered all that rich beautiful Christian symbolism. I'm not sure the Renaissance painters could have done any justice to a blocked cystic duct.

Maybe the woman carrying this sign is actually thanking Jews and giving us points for the assist?

But let's work backwards from there.

Wasn't it Christ who said to "turn the other cheek" and forgive thine enemy? Seems a little odd that a few hundred imbeciles from Topeka, Kansas want to hold me accountable for the actions of a great, great grandfather, about 100 generations removed.

I'm no more knowledgable about what took place in Nazareth 2000 years ago than the people from Fred Phelp's Church, but I do know as a general rule and in accordance with Tribal Behavior 101, Jews do not go around killing other Jews. Mostly because you gentiles have gotten so good at it. (Shall we go to the scoreboard?)

Besides, didn't Jesus die for your sins? I may be wrong here, but it's my understanding that you can lie and cheat, drink, curse and steal your entire life, but if you're lying on your deathbed and you ask for forgiveness and take Jesus into your heart, that can buy you an eternity's worth of harp music, white robes and milk and cookies?

But let's end this discussion at the beginning.

If it weren't for Jews, Judaism, the Old testament and the entire Messianic story, written by your favorite scapegoats, there would be no Jesus in the first place. There would have been no prophecy to fulfill. And the bearded young man spouting love, tolerance and brotherhood -- all the attributes NOT embraced by Christian Extremists -- would have been given the same cold shoulder as the homeless guy in front of the Starbucks at the Third Street Promenade.

Without his matrydom on the cross, it's doubtful there would even be such a thing as Christianity.

And so to the pony-tailed woman holding this sign and to the others of her ilk who want to let the world know that the Jews killed Jesus, I say, "you're welcome."

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