Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Your ad is approved

Never let it be said that social media platforms are not doing their job to man the front lines against any further Soviet attacks.

They are.

And I found out the hard way.

As many of you know, I recently published a new book. But publishing a new book isn't half as difficult as selling a new book. Particularly when one is on a shoestring budget and weeklong freelance gigs get cancelled at the last minute after I've already spent the money.

But, in keeping with the theory that you have to spend money to make money (book sales) I decided to run a little paid media campaign on Facebook.

Simple, right?
Simple, wrong.

Before the Zuckerberg squad would agree to run my little ad...

I had to jump through several bureaucratic hoops.

First, I had to prove I was a US citizen and scan copies of my driver's license & US Passport. Because of my bushy mustache and excessive testosterone, I may appear Russian, but the passport proved I was not. 

I thought that would be sufficient. It was not.

I also had to confirm my housing arrangements. To do that, the folks in Menlo Park sent me an old fashioned letter, via snail mail, with a special code, that once entered on my home computer, would again confirm my Facebook identity.

As if that were not enough, I had to zig zag my way through a series of digital roadblocks and detours, locate agreement boxes and wait for the final approval. 

The whole process took more than 10 days. Which exceeded the dates I had initially set for my little campaign to run.


To be honest, I thought they were going to ding me for the poorly altered photo of Captain Ouchie Foot holding up my book. Though, if any of you are familiar with my previous photoshopping work you know this was one of my best.

In any case, the ad is approved and should be appearing in your feed soon. 

When you think about it, it's Meta Gone Wild.

This is a blog post about an ad.

An ad for a book.

A book full of letters.

Letters that originally appeared on this blog.

The Circle of Life, Simba, the Circle of Life.

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