Thursday, March 31, 2016

The Easter Funny

Last Sunday was Easter.

I know from early, religious school training, that Passover is right on its heels. I'm a little hazy on how the two holidays were related.

I think Jesus, a rabbi, and his disciples were having a Last Supper, which was actually a Passover Seder.

In remembrance of the 400 years of Hebrew bondage under the iron-fist of the Egyptians, Jesus ate matzo, bitter herbs and brisket. When the boredom of the Hagaddah and the overcooked meat didn't kill him, the Romans crucified him the very next morning.

Then, to sooth all the mourning people, God sent a large rabbit with an even larger wicker basket throughout the land, distributing multicolored marshmallow treats and foil-wrapped chocolate eggs.

I may be wrong on that.

In the past I've taken many potshots at the Abrahamic religions. Particularly my own. You may remember last year's recipe for home-made matzo, including the gentile blood of neighborhood children.

And, though I've been mute recently (so that no one will mistakenly take me for a Trump supporter), I've slung a few pointed arrows at the silliness found in the Holy Quran.

So it seems only fitting that I take a good hard look at Easter. Of course this is where it gets difficult. Because who can argue and contest the logic of the Resurrection story.

A political opponent of the Roman regime is executed. His lifeless body is brought to a cave. His followers enter the cave 3 days later, because who wouldn't want to check up on a corpse. And he is gone. So they conclude he is the One.

Not a story I subscribe to, but hey anything's possible.

Including the likelihood that very small children would not throw a tantrum when seated next to a 6 foot man dressed as a deranged Bunny from a Wes Craven movie.

Take it away, Internet.

I had never heard of an Easter Penguin. Must be something new. Maybe it's a Lutheran thing.


Anonymous said...

I blame Donnie Darko.

Anonymous said...

You missed my favorite one: