Thursday, October 31, 2013
Today is Halloween.
Tonight, hundreds of costumed little kids and their over-protective parents will come knocking on my door (possibly interrupting my enjoyment of the World Series) holding out their little hands and begging for free candy.
It's an obnoxious little tradition, but it's one I happily endure, because the real hell is just around the corner.
Tomorrow it begins. The official kick-off of the Christmas season. Just writing those words makes me cringe. Why?
Because I hate Christmas.
Not the most original thought, I'll admit. Particularly coming from a Godless Jew. But nevertheless, it's one deserving of being said out loud. God, I hate Christmas.
I hate the music and the X-mas carols, most of which were ironically written by heathen Jews like myself.
I hate the decorations, including the mistletoe, which is poisonous, the wasteful lights that just make us more energy dependent on Saudi Arabia, and the moving lawn reindeer that scare the shit out of my dog.
I hate the Fox News indefensible defense of Christmas and their yearly charge that there is an open war on Christmas. There isn't an open war on Christmas.
But there ought to be.
Last year, my family and I were in London at the height of the Christmas season. There, at least, the holiday is treated with some modicum of respect.
We didn't see TV commercials of cars topped with big red bows.
We didn't see Merry Christmazzzzz Sales at the local mattress sales.
We didn't see the birth of the Almighty Lord, the Host of Hosts, The Omnipotent Master of Time and Space, reduced to a marketing ploy to sell more bath towels at the local Pic N' Save.
If there is one saving grace to the holidays, it's the Nativity scenes. I love a good a Nativity scene. Here's one I snapped near Trafalgar Square:
What I like most in this, and others, is how calm they depict Mary, Joseph, and their minions during the birthing event. I can tell you from experience, because I've been around enough Jews to know, that calm reservedness is nowhere to be found. Much less, when one human being or super human being is coming out of another.
And of course, what's a good nativity scene without a good Caganer. I've stated it before and I'll state it again, I love The Caganer.
If you don't know what it is, consider this my early X-mas gift.