At this writing I am now a citizen of the United Kingdom, in a very real and legally binding way (if I may paraphrase Michael Palin in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.)
I'm not sure I should be using the term United Kingdom or Great Britain. Or perhaps I just say Scotland, given the centuries of animosity between my people and the wankers to the south.
Nevertheless it has happened, misspelling of my name notwithstanding.
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I can't begin to describe the feeling of waking up and discovering I'm now a citizen of TWO countries. It shines a new light on my previously and very singular Americanism. Which to be honest does not make me very happy. Or proud. Or even safe at this very moment.
If CNN reporter Don Lemon can be snatched off the streets for standing up to the rising tide of fascism, what chance does a wiseass Jew, armed with nothing but a keyboard and a penchant for meme-ing have?
I also can't help remembering how my paternal Ashkenazi ancestors in Lithuania/German/Poland/Ukraine (The Pale of Settlement) felt when they heard the rumble of Panzer tanks in the 1930's.
They had nowhere to go. No dual citizenship. No hope.
This journey started more than a year ago, when I discovered that British citizenship was automatically granted to first generational children of British citizens. In this case, my mother, who hailed from Glasgow.
The word automatic is very misleading however. I had to jump through hoops and navigate an intricate labyrinth of governmental bureaucracy. Including a very lengthy biometrics exam in nearby Inglewood, California.
It was NOT easy.
And I am an educated man (though highly debatable.) I have resources at my disposal. And there are no drug cartels angling for territory. Although as readers of this blog know I did have to suffer at the hands of my obnoxious neighbor and his incessantly barking dog.
Think how difficult it must be for people who don't speak the language, have no money and are running away from danger.
It's all so daft. And the lads at Central had better crack on and fix this mess.
Still, getting acquainted with my new language.
I'm chuffed.
Cherrio.
7 comments:
Rich, as a newfound Scottish wanker, you should know that it's 'cheerio' and not 'cherrio'. Congrats on the new status!
So happy for you - and envious of you! My family has similar Eastern European roots and I’ve been told Romanian citizenship can take up to 10 years to acquire.
Congratulations from an old friend who has lived abroad for over 45 years as a tolerated guest dependent upon visas & ever increasing renewel requirements.
Mazel tov. I’m in the process of obtaining polish (EU) citizenship via grandparents. But love the UK. Bigly envious
How wonderful… though rather jealous.
My wife's paternal grandfather and grandmother were Glaswegians. City residents are described as being "renowned for being friendly, humorous, and unpretentious." Sounds like you.
I cannot tell you how thrilled I am to hear that Creative Directors can be become British Citizens. I am the former just beginning my process of becoming the latter. I have just begun to appreciate the amount of time, patience, and money required to do this, but I am certain it will all be completely worthwhile. Congratulations and thanks for showing there's hope for me. Did that sad little email announcing your citizenship at least come with a trumpet fanfare or something? Royal or Python would be, it seems, both appropriate.
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