For the third week in a row I screwed up.
Last week, Ms. Muse and I had dinner in the desert with friends and former colleagues Valencia and Rick.
And a week prior to that, we dined with fellow Tribe Member and burly bear, Matt and his lovely wife and former colleague of mine, Nic.
I like to think that I don't have any pictures because I'm fully present in the moment, unlike the bozos you'd see at a fireworks show who capture the pyro-magnificence on their 4 inch iPhone screen.
What, you may be wondering does any of this have to do with Triscuits and their over zealous cracker diversification? Patience, grasshopper.
Over a tumbler of fine bourbon and Jim's Coca Cola, we went about solving all the world's problems. Jim literally had a list of what currently ails us stashed away on his phone. We eventually got around to talking about Gaza, Israel and the insane Tribalism.
Why, I posited, can Christians, Jews and Muslims all just identify as Abrahamics? The truth is, as monotheists (well, not me), we all have more in common than any of us like to think. If you were to take a blind taste test, I seriously doubt you could tell the difference between humus handmade in Haifa from humus equally handmade in Amman.
This led us to further discussion about religious stratification. I asked Jim if he knew the reasons for the great Islamic schism that pits Sunnis against Shiites. He didn't have a clue. BTW, a clue was all I had.
I'm no Islamic scholar and have better things to with my time than dissect the Quran. I only have the faintest idea that it all (including hundreds of years of senseless violence) has to do with who Mohammed passed the torch to.
Seriously? Jesus Christ, are humans stupid!
On my second tumbler, we turned our attention to Christianity. It should be noted that before my mother was 'given' permission to marry my father, she had to take Jew classes as well as a bath to officially convert and leave behind her membership of the Presbyterians. So before any angry letters/emails/comments are sent my way, I'm falling back on my Ethnic Executive Privilege.
"What makes someone a Methodist and another person an Episcopalian? Are Lutherans that different than Baptists? Couldn't they save on jerseys, parking lots and other religious accoutrement if they just consolidated?" I pondered aloud.
Jim, though a graduate of esteemed Notre Dame university and well versed in Christianity, did not have an answer.
That's when I had a brain fart and made a beeline to my pantry. And DID snap a photo to make my point.
"That's it, Rich" Jim exclaimed, "it's all about Brand Extensions."
The astute among you will notice I have great difficulty with the cardboard sealing mechanism. Hey Triscuit people, we don't need a Turnip Flavored Crisp, we need a box that grown men can open and close.
BTW, hummus on a Triscuit...delicious.
1 comment:
Having just spent a weekend at a blues festival on top of a mountain in Idaho, and being a nice Jewish girl from NY, this topic is currently weighing heavily on my mind. I might have been the only person in attendance not wearing some sort of crucifix - think outsized earrings, bracelets, tattoos, or T-shirts. Uncomfortable much? Oh and the guy with the T that read, “Only you can prevent socialism” with a Smokey Bear image. I asked my friend what it meant and she said she didn’t know and probably neither did he.
All that to say, getting out of my Portland bubble is like getting hit with a Bible between the eyes and the grayed out American flags vastly outnumber the Dollar General stores.
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