5 Reasons Not to Vote for Grandpa Shitforbrains

I'm going to harken back to my clickbait-y days at PayPal, where knowledgable, best practices data miners taught me everything I need to know about professional copywriting. You know, in lieu of my  40+ years worth of in-the-trenches experience.

To that end and in praise of the audience-attracting Listicle, I give you 5 Reasons Not to Vote for Grandpa Shitforbrains:

1. Supreme Court -- We have not yet begun to tally the damage this Turd Monster has done to this country. Including the disastrous Roe v. Wade rollback. And the impending decision from Heritage Foundation appointed Supreme Court justices with regards to the ridiculous claim of Total Presidential Immunity. 

Should he win another 4 years, he could get 1-2 more lifetime appointed judges who will do the bidding of this 21st century Neo Nazi. 

I don't know about you, but when I bring my car in for service, I like to think the mechanic knows a thing or two about flick-flacks, carbonators, and oil viscosity. Similarly, I like my orthopedic surgeon, who has begun replacing vital joints in my body, to know a thing or two about sockets and balls and hip flexors.

Is there any doubt in your mind that the imbecile spouting off about sharks, batteries and just recently, guillotines, can't name 3 seminal Supreme Court cases in the 246 year history of the United States of America? 

I would bet every last dollar of the Siegel Empire that he can't name one. 

2. History -- Speaking of history, which is an important thing to be acquainted with if you're going to accept the mantle of Leader of the Free World, how do you suppose this flea-bitten gudgeon would fare on a simple 11th grade high school history exam? Suppose there were a question about Gettysburg. 

Suppose...

We're only at #2 and I'm already shaking from adrenal overload!

3. Honor -- Last week my daughter asked if I could've been drafted for the Viet Nam War. I told her I was 2 years too young, thankfully. Donald Trump however was a ripe age of 22 in 1968, the height of the war. Like many Americans he couldn't tell you why were were fighting (See #1 and #2) there. Nor was it important (as nothing but his hide has any import), because he had his family physician (Dr. Vinny Boombatz) write a fake letter about fake bone spurs, so that he wouldn't have to join the "suckers" and "losers" in the real jungles of southeast Asia.

Also, did you know that Trump's disdain for Senator John McCain did not arise from any political or philosophical issue? 

In 1996, the short-fingered vulgarian applied for a federal $350 million loan intended to subsidize low and moderate income housing but was essentially a cash grab. 

The project was turned down by Senator McCain who said, "I have nothing against very successful project developers...I do however object to asking the taxpayer to bear the risk of development for one of the wealthiest  entrepreneurs in the country to help finance a project that will predominantly benefit upper-income Americans."  (from Confidence Man by Maggie Haberman)

4. WTF? -- I have always contended that the best way to campaign against Donald Trump is to quote Donald Trump. I am not a religious man. I am of the firm belief that when we pass, we return to the state of consciousness we had before we were born. That is not the prevailing zeitgeist in this country, where many will vote with their bibles (and their pocketbooks). Are these same zealots in line with this:

“Religion is such a great thing. It keeps you, you know, there’s something to be good about. You want to be good; you want to…It’s so important. And I don’t know if it’s explained. Right. I don’t know if I’m explaining it right now, but when you have something like that, you want to be good. You want to go to heaven, okay? You want to go to heaven. If you don’t have heaven, you almost say, ‘Oh, what’s what’s the reason? Why do I have to be good? Let’s not be good. What difference does it make?”

Jesus H Christ!

5. What difference does it make? -- If by now, close to 10 years after he descended that golden escalator, followed by his reluctant Slovic Trumpette, it should be abundantly clear you've been hoodwinked, by a schmuck who promised Mexico would pay for wall, they didn't. 

He promised 6% GDP growth, never happened. 

He promised a new GOP healthcare plans, coming in two weeks, it's been 14 years. 

He promised Infrastructure, ehhhh, thank you for playing.

He promised immigration reform, nope.

He promised coal mining revival, go talk to a coal miner.

He promised to balance the budget, but added $8 trillion of debt.

He promised to beat China in a Trade War, how's that going?

He promised peace in the Middle East, uhhhh, Gaza.

He promised to produce evidence that the 2020 election was stolen, where are the bamboo fibers?

He promised so much winning, and won nothing.

He's hopeless. 

And if you plan to vote for him, I'm afraid you are too.

I'm so tired of being tired of him. 

Where's that damn Shark?