My Kryptonite

It's only taken me close to 66 years to learn one of life's great lessons: Step outside your Comfort Zone. Last Saturday night, with ample alcohol-based persuasive plying from Ms. Muse, I did just that. 

More accurately, I left-stepped, right-stepped, then rock-stepped outside my comfort zone and agreed to visit the PBDA, the Pasadena Ballroom Dancing Association for a Beginner Lesson and an opportunity to dance before a live swing band. 

Like most men, I was born with PDD, Permanent Dancing Dysfunction. 

Dancing comes to me like logic and critical thinking come to Red Hats. Nevertheless, I decided to give it a whirl, knowing that the Association was run by a cousin of Ms. Muse, Tami and her sister, Erin. In short, I knew I'd get some special coaching.

And I did.

It all seemed so elementary at first.

Left step, right step, rock step. If only we could have limited the introductory lesson to that. But before my brain had time to form new neural pathways telling my feet what to do, I got slapped upside the head with: "OK, now we're gonna add some twirling and swirling moves for your hands."

My brain went completely Chernobyl. 

I could do the hand thing but completely forgot to keep my feet moving at the same time. And, I was told, keep listening to the music with my ears. The only thing I could hear was my own inner voice, saying: "left step, right step, rock step."

I looked out on the dance floor and could see men, some of whom appeared to be much older and less in shape than me, gliding across the floor. Effortlessly. And with such commanding grace. They were having the time of their life. 

I don't think their inner voice was speaking the same language as mine.

Later, I got the lowdown from Ms. Muse who had a chance to talk with Tami, who said: "There's some hope there."

That's a Euphemistic Translation for: "How can a man who bikes, swims, plays chess, types 50 wpm with two fingers and spent several years learning karate, be so damn clumsy and uncoordinated?"

Challenge, accepted.

I will continue to step out of my Comfort Zone, hoping that I don't step on any toes and create a Discomfort Zone for others.