Hey, hey we're the Monkees.

Come with us back to 1987. 

Hair was high. Reagan was senile. And two young copywriters, already jaded, bitter and cynical from writing ads for Tent Sales and cheesy Teleflora pre-planted bouquets, were looking to take bigger, more artistic and fulfilling challenges.

Cue the New Monkees. 

A hairbrained notion to recapture the magic of their 1960's ancestors, with a whole new cast, new producers, new settings, and a new crew of writers itching to make their mark in Hollywood.

I don't know how Jim Jennewein, my old mailroom boss from Needless Hardons & Tears, roommate and friend, and I got hooked up with The New Monkees, I only recall that we did. And though we were uncredited and hadn't really done anything other than coin the phrase, "Sales rise when you merchandise", we were invited to pitch show ideas for the new series.

Upon retrospect, I sense we were asked to dazzle them with our inexperienced brilliance because we were FREE. The producers had nothing to lose but an hour of their time to watch two rank amateurs put on cheap suits from ROSS Dress for Less and figuratively dance for them like...well, for lack of a better word, monkeys.

By the way, this ancient system of "Let's see what you got for no pay whatsoever" still exists in Hollywood. And it's why, despite the drop in theater attendance and thinning industry margins, the mucky mucks can still keep the klieg lights on and oceanfront pied-à-terres for their 20-something gummas. 

A similar and equally degrading version of this exists in our own ad industry. I could go on a rant about it, but not today.

Because today, while sifting through life's baggage, stacked alarmingly high in my garage, I unearthed a rare treasure -- one of the pitch ideas Jim and I tossed on the New Monkees pyre, which mercifully only lasted one season.

Truth is, I found the entire pile of our one-pagers, but this was the only one that was left unscathed by a red marker pen.

Given what I can remember from the show's "artistic" limitations and story bible, not altogether bad.

But in the rereading of the premise, I now would have made the failed attempts to wake Larry up the midpoint cliffhanger, raised the ante and built up the suspense of Larry making it to show on time at the very end of the show.

I'm sure that would have resulted in an Emmy. And charted a whole new path for our careers. Who knows, we could have ended as show runners and made our fortune with The Goldbergs.

Ce la vie.