Let's stage a Bar Mitzvah

Some of you may recall that last year I started a correspondence with the Club Membership Manager, Willy Ruiz, at Mara Lago. 

It was a fun back and forth that revealed the shockingly overpriced fee one must pay to be in the presence of imagined greatness at this shabby South Florida dump. And it gave me an opportunity to play footsie with an actual live person connected to Precedent Shitgibbon.

Now that it appears our esteemed leader will be heading back to civilian life and in desperate need of funds to fend off the many civil and criminal trials coming his way, I thought it would be fun to explore my roots in New Jersey.

And find out how much it would cost to put on a fancy schmancy bar mitzvah at the prestigious Bedminster Country Club.

Let the fun begin....

Dear Bedminster Receptions Manager,

My brother-in-law Irving Cohen is planning a bar mitzvah for his son Ira, who is a huge golf fan and can tell you the history of the mashie and the niblick. See pics.

MASHIE

NIBLICK

Irv, we call him Irv, has had a bit of hard luck since the China Virus hit and killed his brisket-to-go restaurant in Mahwah, next to the old Interstate Bowling Lanes. 

He wants to do the bar mitzvah at the Ramada Inn in Upper Saddle River. The place is kind of run down and there are literal holes in the carpet. 

I want to do something more special for Ira, who is a good kid, though a little awkward, if you know what I mean. 

Anyway, I've done pretty well in import/export business and would love to find out more about having the ceremony at your club. I'm about to get on a plane, can you send me details for doing something like this at the beginning of June, 2021?

Best regards,

Rich