Wednesday, April 19, 2017

360 degrees of FFDKKs.

Today's hat tip goes to Tim Geoghegan.

Tim and I have never actually met but we share the same ad agency DNA as well as a healthy disdain for the way ad agencies currently operate, I believe the ironic term they use is, "best practices." That term shows management's delusional flair for self aggrandizement.

"Best practices"?

This monumental waste of creative resources doesn't merit "good practices" or even "fair practices". Part of me wants to believe this schematic of the 360 degree campaign was pulled straight from the syllabus at Trump University.

Meaning, it was never designed to produce effective results, but crafted for the sole purpose of inflating billable hours and generating obscene revenue for the C-suite and Cannes-goers.

If I were to amend Tim's brilliant design I would lop off the parts about Concepting a TV spot and Producing a TV spot. Because that shit just doesn't happen anymore.

Now teams are told to start thinking digital.
To be media agnostic.
To let the organic idea spring from itself.
A banner ad, we are told, could be the starting point for the whole campaign. That or an FSI. Or a mobile app.

By the way, has anything good ever come from mobile apps? I don't know about you but when my iPhone tells me it's time to manage my storage capacity, those apps on Screen #5 and 6 are the first to go.

An app to identify plants out in the wild, gone.
An app to simulate a stapler, I think my daughter downloaded this, gone.
An app to measure my sperm count, never used it.

I write a lot about missing the old days. I miss the camaraderie, the irreverence, the offices with windows, the lavish productions, the time given to crack an assignment, the fun, the boozy office parties, and the sense that we were part of pop culture -- when was the last time you heard people at a water cooler talking about a page takeover or augmented reality app.?

But in reviewing Tim's deadly accurate diagram, it's clear the thing I miss most about the ad business is a simple fucking sense of sanity.


Anonymous said...

Made a more realistic chart for you:

Unknown said...

It took me about half way through your post to realize the chart was satire. I also have always had a special disdain for the "proprietary planning process" charts, typically presented by the strategic planning head in agency new business pitches. They always include at least four shapes connected by arrows and at least two new words that mean "brainstorm" and have been trademarked by the agency.