Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Confessions of a happy underachiever

Like you, I go through the newsfeed on Facebook. I scan through all the latest news on Linkedin. And I enjoy the guilty pleasures of AgencySpy.

And probably like you, I will often read of the promotions of colleagues or see their continued ascendancy and think, "damn, that could've been me."

Or, and this I know to be true, I will look at the recent work they've done and, like you, have said, "how did they let that hot mess of sophomoric copy and lifeless art direction out the door. Glad my name isn't attached to that salesfuckery."

All these thoughts have run through my head. Perhaps because I've had a smidgen of success and imagine myself to be more talented than I am, I will often picture myself in a similar position and think how I would do things differently.

If I were CCO, I'd...

Then I usually lay on the couch in my home office and despite the consumption of 5 full cups of coffee, nap for 20 minutes and wake up remarkably clear headed and free of such delusions.

You see, I could never be a CCO or even an ECD. Mostly because I don't have the palate for it. Palate, don't you mean strategic understanding, business acumen and management aptitude?

No, I mean palate.

And make no mistake, being in charge of the creative product at an ad agency is remarkably similar to being a mayor. Only the bowls of shit arrive on the desktop at a much faster pace.

I see the shit they eat and wonder how they do it.

I see them smiling at the witless comments made by clients, the people paying the bills.

I see them deferring to clueless CEOs, the people signing the paychecks.

And I see them gnashing their teeth through presentations made by strategists, the people...I still don't know what they do.

It's not only fast and furious, it's nonstop. 24/7/365.

Not long ago, I was mistakenly cc:ed on an electronic meeting invite. The email was sent out on a Saturday night at 3 AM!! For a meeting to be held that same Saturday night at 4 AM!!

There isn't a Year End Clearance Sale, a two for one eyeglass promotion, a $6.99 any two toppings deal or even an Apple rebranding assignment that is worth me prying my eyes open at 4 AM on a Saturday night.

Another bowl of shit?

No thanks, I'll pass.

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