Thursday, January 23, 2014

The End is Near

I love football.
And in two weeks I will be going through some painful football withdrawal.
Me and about 100 million other men in America.

Oh and 37 women, too.

But there's also a lot to hate about NFL football.

I hate the boorish behavior.
I hate the poor sportsmanship.
I hate the penalties called on defensive linemen because they glanced the quarterback.

I hate the bazillion dollar salaries.
I hate the diamond earrings.
I hate the touchdown dances by receivers or halfbacks even though their team is down 49-13.

I hate domed stadiums.
I hate astroturf.
I hate the portable sideline heaters carted on the field anytime the temperature dips below 40 degrees.

I hate Colin Kapernick kissing his biceps.
I hate Dez Bryant throwing tantrums like a 5 year old.
I hate these superhuman men who can bench press 600 lbs., but can't summon the strength to lift their own water bottles.

But most of all,
I hate to think of what Johnny Unitas would say if he could see what has happened to the game he played in his $7 high tops.