I want my money back

Recently, the AFI put out their list of the top 100 movies ever made. Of those 100, only three were made after 1994.

Yes, it's hard to believe that the original Wolverine starring Hugh Jackman did not crack the list. I'm willing to bet that if the list were extended to 1000, poor Hugh would still be crying in his Foster's beer. Of course that's not stopping the overpaid trash-makers in Hollywood from delivering to us another installment in this can't-miss-series.

I only know this because last week my wife and I ventured down to the Culver City Multiplex for a night of cheap laughs via Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy in The Heat. But before that mildly entertaining movie could begin, we had to sit through 6 trailers.

It felt like 60.

As we walked home it occurred to us we had no interest in seeing any of them.

In retrospect, the movies were all exceptionally loud. They were all sizzle and no steak. And they all seemed suited to the taste of a fidgety 15-year old boy with the IQ of a drunken hummingbird.

The last of the 6 trailers actually started with a premise.

Five middle-aged Englishmen return to their home town determined to complete a one mile pub crawl. A feat that had somehow eluded them in their youth. It held out the promise of colorful characters, a clear narrative and charming rural English authenticity. Then witty repartee turned into shitty storytelling, with the introduction of Zombies, pyrotechnics and 21st century CGI stupidity.

A head-scratching moment to say the least.

Call me an old man, but I was fortunate to grow up when 43 of the the AFI's Top 100 were made. We had The French Connection, Dog Day Afternoon, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Apocalypse Now, Annie Hall, Taxi Driver and so many more.

But those times are long gone.

Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.
And so does the craft of film-making.