Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Hump this.

Years ago someone on Facebook posted a picture of himself, or herself, leaning against a 1978 lime green Plymouth Duster that was parked in the driveway of their parents old ranch style house. The picture started accumulating Likes and soon friends and family started digging through their shoeboxes full of old photo's and joined the fray.

This gave birth to #TBT.

Or Throwback Thursdays.

It seems people enjoy seeing themselves from the glory days gone by. They like the old styles, the thinner waistlines and the unreceded hairlines.

You know what else people like? Leaving the office at a decent hour.

But the taskmasters, whether they be advertising holding company officers or that douche and a half CEO from Wells Fargo, don't see it that way. They want us chained to our desks, pinned to our pens in the cubicle farm or locked, stocked and barreled to the long community tables until the wee hours of the morning.

Not to mention Saturdays and Sundays.


Well it doesn't take a United States Senator from Massachusetts to see why. It's all about money. They want more of it. And that means giving you less of it. They can reduce the cost of labor by increasing the number of billable man hours. See inverse relationships.

The 12-14 hour work day has become so commonplace in advertising, that many agencies have regular dinner service. Some have even contracted with dry cleaners, car washers and personal concierge services, you know to take care of those personal life responsibilities that can sometimes get in the way of...wait, I want to get this right..."doing great work."

Wow, if you're buying that I've got a Supplementary Low Cost Wells Fargo Savings Account I'd like to get you into.

I'm sorry my friends, you've been hoodwinked. Bamboozled. You didn't do Cannes Lion winning work. And you're not going to Cannes anytime soon.

It's high time we started taking back our time.

So, in the spirit of #TBT, I'm introducing #WOHW -- We're Out of Here Wednesdays.

Tonight, when the Assistant Associate Planner comes sniffing around to see whether you'd like Pizza or Pad Thai Noodles, take a pass. Tell him or her, you have other plans for the evening. Plans that don't involve banner ads, brand engagement units or content generation.

Tell him or her you won't be around email, or any other mobile device, so that round twenty three of revisions to make the copy more urgent will have to wait until the morning.

Tell him or her that you understand the importance of the $500 million new business pitch, but that you were only handed the brief two hours ago, and you haven't 'cracked it' yet.

At 6 PM tonight, and on every Wednesday thereafter, go home.
Make your colleagues go home.
Make your colleague's colleagues go home.

At 6 PM tonight we need to SHUT IT DOWN.

Go home. I'm already there.

Oh and don't forget to shop at the No Mas SweatShop.


george tannenbaum said...

One of your best.

Bob Fremgen said...

I left at 5:55.

fuck 'em.

Salty said...

I prefer to just leave. They walk by and wonder where I am, and then email. And text. And call. And in the morning, I'm magically there again. Eventually, they begin asking if I'm available instead of assuming I am. And I slowly pare down the amount of availability until my time is viewed as valuable by people who are not me.

Result: I no longer feel like one of those people from "Repent, Harlequin," said the Ticktockman." Also, I'm now freelancing.

Julie Bowman said...

I hope you're getting lots of great work. Your post made me LOL.

Anonymous said...

On the heels of TBT, I tried to start up Chuck Norris Fridays (CNF). Since the web was was stuffed with Chuck memes, I figured might as well make hay while the sun shines. It didn't shine for long. Never took off. Go figure.

Anonymous said...

You forgot You're Fired Fridays.

julian koenig said...

I get in at 6:45 AM. I do not stay past 6:45 PM. When anyone asks why I don't stay late, I ask why they don't come in early. I always considered this a victory of sorts, until my wife reminded me that I'm still working 12 hours a day. And that in her line of work, 6:45 pm IS working late.