Thursday, January 7, 2016

2015's Phrase of the Year

I'm not big on re-caps.

The end of 2015 slipped by and I did nothing to rehash the highlights and low lights of the year.

Mostly because I don't think any of you want to relive my life. I published a book, I made my yearly numbers, I sent two kids off to college, I had an onion bialy with delicious whitefish salad, blah blah blah.

However, I did coin a phrase in 2015 that is seemingly and unexpectedly gaining some traction. I know this because I have received several emails to the effect. And I've read the comments. And I've seen it repeated with an obligatory Rich Siegel Hat Tip.

Frivolous, Fuckwadian, Digital Knick Knacks™.

Those of you in the ad biz know exactly what I'm referring to. In fact, I'm willing to wager some of you even have a spot in production for this year's Super Bowl. But that spot won't hit the airwaves and thrill 270 million people until you have faithfully completed the 360 degree arc of brand integration.

And that means finishing the social media extension of your big beautiful commercial with some kind of superfluous disposable social media tchotchke™.

What will that be?

* Tweet To Eat -- Tell us your best Wheat Thin story in 140 characters or less and win a lifetime supply Wheat Thins, now available in Honey Mustard, Chili Cheese and Zesty Salsa (it's zesty).

Free Wheelin' --Upload your photo and see what your face would look like as a Nissan Hubcap.

* Meow Mixed -- Post an Instagram of your cat enjoying our delicious, nutritious fish and chicken anal glands and we'll go through your iTunes library and create your very own Meow Mix Mixed Tape.

* Bud Lights The Way -- Send us your email address, proof that you are over 21 years of age and access to your GPS and through the magic of Augmented Reality, we will use your mobile phone to direct you to the nearest location where you can buy Bud Light. It's 22nd century technology in the palm of your 21st century hand!

*The Old Spice Scintillating, Smellolicious Scavenger Hunt -- Find the tumblr photo of the Old Spice  Man on the inter webs, customize the photo so that he is on a goat, retweet the photo and collect 1000 shares, screen grab your customized photo with 1000 shares and at least 10,000 likes, and post it on your Facebook page along with a 3,000 word essay and we'll send you a coupon good for a 15% discount on your next purchase of any Old Spice product.

Those of you not in the business, like my friend Paul who often complains that I waste too much digital ink on advertising or advertising-related themes, could care less about these Herculean marketing flim flams which require so much effort and yield so little return -- sort of like making crepes.

Fear not advertising laymen, you are in the company of about 8 billion other people who never engage with any of this crap.

And who would frankly be content to live out the rest of their days without ever seeing another Frivolous, Fuckwadian, Digital Knick Knack™.

1 comment:

glenn said...

I'll have you know that I've made a career off Frivolous Fuckwadian Digital Knick Knacks.

I am often OK with this.