Wednesday, April 17, 2013

"We are about to begin our descent"


Earlier this week there was a terrible bombing at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. As of this writing, no suspects are in custody but a "person of interest", a Saudi man, is being questioned. Which might lead one to conclude that the massacre could have been a fulfillment of holy Jihad by a misguided warrior.

After all, as I believe it says in the hadith:

"Thou shalt slay the infidel in his running shoes crafted from forbidden pigskin and deny him the water or electrolyte drinks that would replenish his Kaffir soul. God is Great. Allah Salad bar, blah, blah, blah."

But let's not jump to any politically incorrect assumptions.

This might be the handiwork of some crazed anti-government wing nut. In other words, a member of another crazy religion. Different fairy tale, same blind adherence and self-appointed monopoly on righteousness, albeit of the political stripe.

Only time and the good work of our forensic scientists will tell.

You may be wondering what any of this has to do with the picture above, a picture of man inside a huge plastic bag, while seated in 29C.

Allow me to indulge in some equal opportunity religious bashing and turn this rant inwards, because this esteemed gentleman clad in a Hefty Glad Bag, is a member of my tribe. In fact, he's not just a member of the tribe, he's a Kohen, a holy man if you will, who is fulfilling the Lord's command not to be exposed to women.

As it says in the Tanach, Jedediah 17:38:

"And the Lord spoketh, saying unto thee, in all manner of travel be it by land, or sea, or Coach Economy Class, thy priestly men must separateth themselves from thy women. And remember to storeth all baggage in the overhead bin."

However, as is the case with much Jewish law, some of the rabbis have a different opinion. They claim that because the plane was flying over a cemetery, he needed to protect himself from any of the impurities emanating from the ground 37, 000 feet below.

Oh sure, that makes much more sense.

Never mind that in Israel, a sliver of a country, there are very few homes that are not within a five mile radius of a cemetery. Which means one is much more likely to be exposed to netherworld impurities via crosswinds and such, than flying 5 miles above the earth in a self-enclosed, metal tube at 600 miles per hour.

Perhaps this is why I am so leery about religion, all religion.
Or any dogmatic thinking for that matter.

The deeper you get in, the further you move away from science, facts, logic and common sense.
And in Monday morning's case in Boston, human decency.




2 comments:

Anonymous said...

lol at this shit, its ok for you to be politically incorrect/insensitive about muslims but when somebody makes fun of jews or calls out israel on their bullshit they're the bad guys

glasgowdick said...

Dear Anonymous, I think you need to reread the post. I AM making fun of Jews, and have done so regularly on this blog. BTW, I love how you blurred the line between making fun of Jews and calling out Israel on their "bullshit." I guess you cannot be Anti-Israel but not Anti-Semitic.