The Apprentice

The finish line is in sight.

Then again, considering the events of the last presidential election, we could very well be at the beginning line. Should he lose -- and he should -- we are most assuredly going to hear complaints about rigging, stuffed boxes, dead people voting and ballots printed in China, remember? The ones with the bamboo fibers.

It will be a mirror of the 2020 election, which he only conceded last week, "it looks like we lost by a whisker."

And really, that's what you're looking for in a president, someone who doesn't recognize a fact or accept reality for a good four years or so.

Similarly, what you look for in a businessman or a businesswoman is someone who actually knows something about business.

He doesn't know squat about business. And he's got the string of bankruptcies to prove it. Steak, wine, water, airline tickets, football teams and now social media platforms. He's tried it all and lost it all. 

Let's not forget he started 3/4 of the way down the third base line heading for the home plate, with 1/2 billion bankroll from his KKK father.

All of which makes NBC's decision to put this know-nothing on the air as some kind business guru in The Apprentice all the more ridiculous. Like fake bandaids on a right ear, ridiculous.

I haven't secured any permissions, so I'll tread lightly here, but it turns out I have two colleagues who actually appeared on The Apprentice seeking sage advice from the ignorant money-burning blowhard. And I'm ashamed to admit this, but my family and I watched this clown in action.

Many of you are too young to remember The Apprentice, but there was never the dispensing of any business advice: expand in this area, cut costs here, license that, sell this, improve this aspect of your operations. 

Again, there was NEVER that.

I know it was a game show with the inherent limitations one would expect, but he was dealing with C-suite level people. And they feigned deference and adoration, which is all he ever wanted. And still does.

One of these former colleagues even offered up a small anecdote of the on set shenanigans that took place: 

10 minutes after meeting, while standing on our marks for our first shot, he was leaning over my shoulder, whispering in my ear, in a heavy NYC accent, pointing out how hot Ms. Valenzuela was. For example. 

That doesn't seem off brand at all, does it?

The other colleague was actually a client. 

Again, without naming names, she was the CMO of a fast casual dining restaurant. We had won her business in 2003 and for a year, turned her marketing budget, made of straw, and spun it into gold. We produced more than 70 TV commercials for under $300,000. And in one year increased same store sales more than 13%.

I'm no businessman, though I sometimes play one on the internet, but those numbers seemed pretty good to me. Plus we had made some fun stuff. See for yourself.

https://youtu.be/tCb1IOQBY6c?si=YhbtLWI0-ruFc1zU

But she sought wise business counsel elsewhere. 

I guess you could say I lost out to the Donald. But in hindsight, the loss was not mine.