I'll vote for Trump

Last week I got a DM from an R17 reader complimenting me on my political savvy. I demurred and suggested I had none. 

Truly. 

Because If I did, my long running campaign against the most monstrous figure in American political history would have surely resulted in some converts. 

And thank you cards.

"Thank you Rich for shining the disinfecting light on this grifting scoundrel. I don't know how could've been so blind to his obscene flim flammery."

Is how I imagine thousands of these cards to read. 

But that has not yet come to pass. Perhaps it's because of my acerbic tone? My glib nature? My reliance on easily verifiable facts? In any case, it hasn't worked. And I've had to block or unfriend known Red Hats who still evangelize for their serial rapist/grifter/thief.

So devoted are they that I've had to stop myself in my tracks and wonder, "Is there something I'm missing?  Sure those 4 years were among the worst in my life. And the ones that followed weren't so hot either, considering the fucking he mess he made. But maybe, just maybe I've drowned out the voice of reason in an echo chamber of my own making?"

And so it has come to this. 

In less than 50 days, I will enter the voting booth (IRL, as opposed to my normal habit of mailing in my stand for democracy) and I will pull the lever (I know that's not how it's done anymore) for one Mr. Donald John Trump. And I will film it, so as to produce the proof of my actions. 

I understand California is a deep blue state and one vote in the red column won't make a bit of difference. Meaning this will be a Pyrrhic Victory for some lucky devotee. But I'm willing to eat some Cheetoh dusted crow.

There is one condition however. 

I will vote for Trump if one of his followers can show me the check we received from Mexico for the border wall. He claimed there would be a 2000 mile beautiful Wall sealing off the southern boundary of our country. And that Mexico would pay for it. 100%, he said. Show me the check. Oh and if you can, show me the Wall.

I will vote for Trump if one of his followers can show me the famed Infrastructure Bill he also promised. He said our bridges, roads and airports were like those of a 3rd world country. Clearly he fixed all that when he was president. And equally clear is that Biden destroyed or sabotaged those hard fought improvements during his 4 years. Show me the Infrastructure Bill and the towering results of all those Infrastructure Weeks.

and finally...

I will vote for Trump if you can point me in the direction of the "big, beautiful new Healthcare Plan" that was promised on so many occasions. We all know how Obamacare has been "destroying our country." What with its easy access to healthcare and guarantee of coverage despite any medical preconditions. So I'm naturally interested in the alternative plan that Mr. Trump and his cadre of experts and have put together to replace it and restore our country back to its former greatness. 

And so, die hard Red Hats, the ball is in your court. 

Show me what you got and I'll gladly jump off the Democracy Train and jump on board your Dictator Train.

BTW, I like the 2016 MAGA hat much better than the horsey 2020/2024 version.