Merry Christmas

Christmas is approaching fast. And if you're like me you're still scrambling and scouring the Internet for that perfect gift.

If you're not like me and easily duped by a certain orange haired con man from Queens, you might want to consider some priceless Trump memorabilia for your loved or lobotomized ones. 

Yesterday, the former Criminal in Chief announced that he would selling a new round of his insanely priced NFT digital cards. He glibly calls it his Mugshot Edition. I don't know a single soul that has even one. But if you hurry and act now, you can snap up all the new cards for just $4,735.99

But wait, there's more.

Prescient buyers will also be rewarded -- and this is Pet Rock level geniuosity -- with a piece of the suit Trump wore when he, the first president in American history to be indicted, gave himself up and posed for a mugshot at a Georgia courthouse. 

How can any faithful Red Hat pass that up? It's like owning a swatch of the Shroud of Turin.

Only bigger, because it's not Jesus, it's TRUMP!

I gave this some serious thought. Unlike Kool-Aid drinking Trumpsters who are incapable of brain function, and decided to make other Trump memorabilia available to you before you put away the wrapping paper. Also, because I could use the money, I'm providing links so that all purchases will trigger a commission for yours truly.

Tell them what we have Johnny...

Sparkle Paper Towels -- The same ones President Trump tossed to 

soggy islanders in Puerto Rico and rescued their sorry lives. 

These are not the actual paper towels touched by our Lord Fauntleroy and Traitor, 

but your Red Hat gift recipient won't know. 

Get them now: https://amzn.to/3To5M0J

Goya -- Nothing says Feliz Navidad like Goya's fine Mexican cuisine.

It's not the food eaten by "criminals, rapists and drug dealers", 

this is the good Mexican stuff. Everyone loves getting Goya.

Don't wait: https://amzn.to/3TiAZT2

Sharpie -- Big and thick version, just like your favorite president. 

It's the same marker he used to sign the bill allowing ex-felons to 

purchase firearms. Because, you know, 2nd Amendment. And it has that 

Chisel Tip, chiseled like 215 lbs. President 45.

It's the perfect gift for the perfectly gullible.

https://amzn.to/4amfNS4

Stay tuned for more Trump Swag sold by a former Forbes 400 BILLIONAIRE!