For those of you following my continuing travails with the "Hong Kong Attorney" who has promised to deliver unto me a recently discovered $35 million inheritance in the form of gold bullion, we have updates.
The pace of the missives sent back and forth across the Pacific, or possibly even the Atlantic where Nigerian scammers spin their tales, has slowed considerably. Which is fine with me because it gives me time to concoct things on my end.
My last correspondence included a request from Mr. Adam Lambert (my nickname for Lambert Liu) to sign a laughable document. I know from experience this is only a facade to give the process the sheen of credulity. Here to refresh your memory are Adam's exact words:
Dear Mr. Richard Siegel,
Thanks for the offer ref flanges, though I doubt I would be needing to invest in flanges anytime soon.
Attached herein is a Power of Attorney document which you are required to sign and send back to me. Its purpose being to give authorization to us for the sole purpose of facilitating the transfer of the estate of the decedent whom you have been designated as the next-of-kin and as the Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation(HSBC) where the assets are domiciled will be advised.
Upon receipt of your signed power of attorney document, we will endeavor to file an application for grant of inheritance on your behalf with the Probate Registry, the administrators of the estate. Please sign the attached document. Notarization will be done by a Hong Kong notary.
Regards,
Lambert Liu
Consultant
Cheung, Tang & Rosemount Solicitors
For clarification purposes I had told Mr. Adam Lambert that I was a Flange Salesman and offered to provide Adam with any flanges he might need at a wholesale price. He declined.
For even further clarification, flanges regularly appear in all my scambaiting schemes. I like the word. It's a funny word. And one you don't hear everyday. Chances are you will go the rest of 2023 without ever hearing about flanges again. Except for here, that is.
Without further ado, here then is my response to Adam:
Dear Adam Lambert,
Sorry for the delayed response, I've been laid up in bed after I was in a car accident on the Hershey Highway. The doctors put me on Percocet. I don't know if you've ever had Percocet but it made me feel all woozy. And soft. And I started seeing purple butterflies.
Do you have butterflies in Hong Kong?
During my hazy condition, I also lost the Power of Attorney Document you had sent. I'm so sorry.
I hope this doesn't disqualify me from the $35 million inheritance. With my Chrysler Le Baron completely totaled I'm going to need a new car. I loved that Le Baron. It had a vinyl top. I don't know why carmakers stopped doing vinyl tops. I think they're so classy.
Can you send me the document I need to sign again? Can you also include a picture of yourself? I like to see who I'm doing business with. Maybe that's an American affectation, but when I was selling flanges I could look a man, or a woman, in the eye and immediately know if they were going to load up on flanges. It's a gift I have.
I've enclosed a picture of myself and my oldest son, Derek, so you know who you're dealing with.
I look forward to hearing from you and your counsel regarding the transfer of the money to my account.
Thank you,
Eddy (Richard) Siegel
Editorial note: For those too young to remember the photo comes from a press kit for the old TV Show, Marcus Welby, MD. The man on the left is a very young James Brolin. If I had a son named Derek, I'm sure he'd look just like that.
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