Bring out the Kitsch

You are what you read.

And as child I read, or paged through, many of the books in my living room.

Among them, many coffee table books on Kitsch.

I'm not sure my mother knew what to make of them. Nor am I convinced my father fully comprehended the full irony of these campy collections. Nevertheless, the books were filled with funny crappy art and a pleasing supply of 60's go-go girls in bikinis.

And since they were on the table, they were free for the taking.

I have to believe this, as well as a lifetime agonizing over ads including advertisements for Toytotathons, PearleVision Two For One Bogo Sales and Harry's House of Catheters, have left me with a ripe appreciation for the absurd.

Hence my purchase 63 days ago from the White House Gift Shop.

My Korean Peace Talks Summit Coins have arrived. And as you can see from the picture they even included a semi-embossed Certificate of Authenticity of Origin, which frankly strikes me as redundant and Orwellian.

Nevertheless coins # 29458 and #29459 are safely in my possession.

Just as the fifty-plus nuclear missiles and ICBMs are still in the possession of Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un. Despite protestations to the contrary ("The talks were a Huge success. The hugest success in the history of the planet. Bigly win. MAGA MAGA MAGA."), it's widely agreed that the summit talks were nothing more than a photo op.

If you read the press releases from the official newspaper of North Korea -- and I do -- you'd see the North Koreans calling us stupid, gangsta-like, and impudent.

They like that word, impudent.

Face it folks, that fat fucker with the funny hair (Kim), is not going to give up his nukes.

All of which makes the coins, which will now constitute the bulk of the Siegel family heirloom, priceless and invaluable. They are a 3.4 ounce testament to every failed effort of our incompetent, golf-playing, pussy-grabbing, democracy-demolishing dickhead at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Suffice to say, I love these coins. And the only thing that would have made the purchase even more satisfying would have been a typo on the certificate.

Or even better, on the coin.