Vocational Viagra

This is a post about job title inflation. It's not the first time I've written about it and it probably won't be the last, as it is a major pet peeve.

While doing an image search for this post I came across an article with the 30 worst examples of job title inflation. At the top of the list was Erection Engineer. That title was accompanied by the picture you see above. 

It's admittedly click bait, but I've never given you any reason to believe I'm above that.

Weeks ago, you might recall, I promoted myself to Chairmen of the Rich Siegel Worldwide organization. First, because we can never have too many chairmen in this world. And secondly, to point out the ridiculous nature of workplace nomenclature.

The fact of the matter is I'm a copywriter.

I don't need any further Orwellian newspeak attached to that title in order to impress anybody. And frankly when I come across people who roll out the Senior Vice President or Chief Officer or Executive Group Blah Blah Blah, I'm not impressed. 

If anything I'm unimpressed -- there should be a better word for that -- I'm depressed.

In my fantasy utopian world where everything I say is right and everyone who thinks otherwise is not, I would roll back all this title nonsense. 

Let's say a kid graduates from one of the outrageously expensive advertising schools littered throughout the land. And let's say he or she wants to pursue a career in copywriting. And let's say he or she is genuinely talented but still has a long way to go. And let's take this theoretical situation even further and say he or she had the goods to get immediately hired.

The first job out of the box should be Apprentice Copywriter. Because let's face it, he or she knows nothing about how ads are done in the real world.

With a few banner ads and FSI's under the belt, the first promotion should be to Junior Assistant Copywriter.

In a year's time, maybe two, and the writing of some solid emails blasts, internal videos and sizzle pieces, the word Junior can magically disappear.

Maybe the stars aligned and our talented aspiring writer managed to knock out a case study or even a radio spot or a print ad, then our Assistant Copywriter can proudly call home and start adjusting the linkedin page to include Associate Copywriter.

Finally, after earning some industry cred and earning the respect (and jealousy) of others, then, and only then, would he or she be given the title of Copywriter. 

It's title deflation. 

Not only is it more logical, it prevents those uncomfortable new business meetings when the CEO of a multi-billion dollar corporation is seated next to a 26-year old tattooed, pierced, keffiyeh-wearing clod who goes by the title, Senior EVP Group Content Curation Prophet.

At this point it should come as no surprise that I have equally strong feelings about who should and shouldn't be able to call themselves a Chief Creative Officer.