That's Chairman Siegel to you.

Don't know if you saw it, but last week the ground beneath the feet of the advertising industry shook.

There were trades, swaps, free agency deals and lots and lots of promotions. On the East Coast. And the West Coast.

Due to my own streak of self-imposed career stagnancy, I was not on the receiving end of any of it.

Then I had a moment of clarity that only someone who gets paid to bullshit people into buying things can possibly have.

Why not give myself a promotion?

Why not indeed.

Recently I passed a significant benchmark, 10 years as a successful, and I use that word with trepidation, freelancer. If you looked me up on linkedin.com you'd see my title is, and always has been, CEO and Chief Creative Officer. Those titles seem to suffice. That is until I got bit by the jealousy bug following last week's flurry of press releases.

And so it gives me great pleasure to announce that Rich Siegel has been named Chairman of Rich Siegel Worldwide.

Keep in mind, the last noteworthy spot I produced was more than two years ago, for the relaunch of the Honda Civic - a fun campaign I did with the very talented Dana Markee.

And I haven't helped win new business or collect any awards at Cannes in ages.

In fact, for the last few years the level of my work has been journeymen, at best.

Let's not be naive. One glance at the org. chart of any of the big holding companies will prove this industry is no meritocracy.

Consequently, I don't see why the lack of any discernible achievement should stop me from being Chairman.

Hell, some ad agencies have two Chairmen, why shouldn't mine have at least one?

Furthermore, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't award myself a sweet Golden Parachute.

In the unlikely event that there's a dereliction of duties or a drop in revenue or some kind of substance abuse, I want to protect myself and my family.

And so I've just signed a contract that should my termination from Rich Siegel Worldwide become necessary, I will be given a significant lump sum of CA$H from the Rich Siegel Worldwide Corporation.

Of course that money will have to be extracted from my daughter's 529 College Savings account, but I'm sure she'll understand.

It's not personal, it's business.