You're out of order

If you were reading Round Seventeen last week, you already know I am in full battle mode with Nordictrack -- a subsidiary of Icon Health & Fitness.

If you've read Round Seventeen at all during the last 5 years, you also know that I have commitment issues.

If I'm in for a dime, I'm in for a dollar.

I don't do half-assed.

I don't live in a grey, nuanced world.
I'm a binary thinker.
It's either black or white.
Right or wrong.
Win or lose.

This is particularly true in the world of commerce. If I hand over my hard-earned money for your product or service, it had better live up to the promises made and the value conveyed. And if it doesn't, we're going to have words about it.

This is the boat I find myself in with Nordictrack.

And apparently I'm not the first. I've done my homework and found there have been many, many, many complaints against this company. The most common being their unwillingness to stand behind their products. I've also come to learn all their products are made in Yinchuan, China, near the border with Mongolia, and probably not worth standing behind.

Most annoying however is the way Nordictrack attempts to sweat out unhappy customers.

Their khaki-pants wearing customer service representatives, in Logan, Utah, the heart of Mormon country, have been instructed to put angry callers on hold. They switch you from department to department. And they do it all with such saccharine sweetness to make the medicine go down easier. But no one gets off the phone satisfied.

Ever.

This isn't my speculation, this comes from a memo written by a former Icon employee.

In any case, it's on.

Last week I visited the Jillian Michaels Facebook Page ( she's the Nordictrack spokesperson) and let her fans know about the company she's associated with. I even got a personal response from Jillian, who must be wondering, who the hell is this bulldog and why is he all over my case?

In addition to Jillian, Nordictrack has many other pressure points. And I'm more than willing to start pressing all of them.

I Fedex'ed a two page letter to the Nordictrack CEO. I contacted Joel Grover, the consumer reporter at the local NBC affiliate. And I even got in touch with the Mayor of Logan, Utah, who was shocked to hear from a dissatisfied Nordictrack customer. But even more outraged this kind of behavior was taking place in his fine, American town.

As you can see from the photo above, I've also filed the necessary papers with the Small Claims Court. In a few short weeks it will be: Mr. Siegel Goes to Inglewood.

In preparation for my big court appearance I've downloaded a bunch of legal movies so I can study the diction and deliverance of a polished lawyer. I'm also thinking about wearing a bow tie. And I'm open to any comments on the choices below: