Giving Un-Thanks

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

We all have the day off (except for some of my unfortunate advertising colleagues forced to write last minute Super Bowl Spots). We'll spend time with family, football and hopefully some fizzy drinks with high alcohol content. And we'll express our thanks to the Lord, to the Giant Spaghetti Monster, to the fickle finger of fate or just to damn good luck, for all the things we have.

But in this, the year of the Occupiers, the 99%-ers, the have nots, I'd like to give thanks for the many wonderful things I don't have:

* I don't have a job. Haven't had one for close to eight years. Could not be happier. I've made the same amount of money I would have as a corporate staffer (maybe even a little more) and I haven't had to sit in many meetings, or live on an airplane, or listen to any 28-year old Ad Manager/Sorority Sister tell me how my work should be done.

* I don't have any health issues. Probably because I don't a have a job and the free stress that comes with it. More importantly, no one in my family has any health issues. This year we have seen many around us stricken with cancer (all forms) and the struggles that come with it. We wish them the the very best and count our blessings not to have health problems.

* I don't have crazy, troublesome, problematic daughters. Oh don't get me wrong, these are two high-drama teenagers who know how to manipulate Daddy, but by and large they are good kids. They may not always take out the trash or do the dishes when I ask them, but they bring home good grades from school, they are respectful around other adults and they have avoided drugs and alcohol (or at least they have hidden it very well).

* I don't have a dog that barks all the time. This may seem unusual but I am very grateful that my dog does note bark or bite. The same cannot be said for some of my neighbor's dogs, who once outside will bark until they pass out from exhaustion. I don't know how some people can be so unaware of their environment. Apparently they lack what I unfortunately have: a conscience.

* And finally I don't have a wife who nags me. Oh I complain all the time about living under her thumb and answering questions about my whereabouts, but its all hyper-inflated. My wife is a saint. She knows it, I know it. Everybody in our sphere knows it. She allows me time to work, to write, to do my P90X, to drink to excess and to fall asleep on the couch (sometimes all in the same day).

She allows me to be me. And if I didn't have her in my life, I don't know that I'd be thankful about everything else in my life that I don't have.

(I hope I got that double negative thing right.)

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!