Thursday, October 3, 2013

A Rigorous defense

Until recently, this is what my wife had to look at every morning while backing out of our driveway. There is literally a peephole to spot any oncoming traffic.

Mostly because my neighbor, in all his consideration, has parked two over sized monster trucks in front of his house.

He refers to his trucks as "rigs", which is 10 asshat points in my book any day of the week.

In addition to his "rigs", his wife parks her mammoth-sized, olive green Ford Expedition further down the street. Constructing, if you will, Culver City's Great Wall of Invisibility.

To mitigate this and give my wife a better view of traffic, I hung a huge convex mirror on the palm tree in front of my house.

While hanging the mirrored contraption, my oblivious neighbor strolled by and said, "I hope that's not on account of my two trucks", adding, "I guess I should have got the bigger ones."

Real funny, douchebag.

One would expect nothing less from a clown that keeps two vicious pit bulls.

Has this in his backyard (those are two inch diameter stainless steel pipes, very noisy):

And this on his front door step:

Of course, I have my own  eccentricities, and have never been known to walk away from a good confrontation.

So I petitioned the Culver City traffic department for an additional street parking permit, citing my own my particular hardship. Naturally, I included the street scene you see in the very top picture.

The city engineers investigated. And while they didn't grant me a third permit, they did come to inspect my parking situation and the immediate vicinity.

As a result, they revoked one of my neighbor's illegally-obtained permits and have instructed him NOT to park his two "rigs" illegally in front of his house.

What an unfortunate series of consequences.

Faced with a new and inconvenient parking paradigm for his over sized vehicles my neighbor was quite upset and wasted no time confronting me on the matter.

I mimicked his previous display of cavalierness and said, " I guess I shouldn't have called the city and counted on your good graces."

Then I went inside my house.

And laughed.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thumbs up!