Thursday, November 15, 2012

The Lord does provide

Ruby Shipp used to teach English at the nearby Culver City High School. She also lived in my house before we bought it from her estate in 1993.We still get mail for Ruby so I innocently assumed her identity and have started a correspondence with the Peter Popoff Ministry.

Popoff calls his "church", People United For Christ.

I'm pretty sure Jesus would not look too kindly on the right reverend and his crude technique for separating poor people from what little money they might have.

In his latest package, Popoff sent several (Chinese-made trinkets) including this:

It's nothing more than a piece of nylon chord. I placed it next to my car keys for reference. Popoff wants me (Ruby) to return the chord (then why did he send it?) along with a Prayer offering of $38. In exchange, according the letter, "I have hooked up a SPECIAL PHONE LINE so I can whisper these words directly from our dear Lord's heart into your ear."

Additionally, he sent this lovely bracelet, constructed from the finest synthetic materials and hand-molded plastic:

This is my new Luke 6:38 Bracelet of Blessing...JESUS LOVES ME. He wants me to wear it daily, saying, "I am in prayer agreement with you and your financial needs."

I'm not sure that the corpse of poor old Ruby has many financial needs, but it's good to know they are in the holy and generous hands of Peter Popoff.

And finally, there was this:

A blank check drawn from the Bank of Heaven. Lordy, will miracles never cease?

And just in time for me to do all my Hanukkah shopping.

1 comment:

Bob said...

I dare you to deposit that in an ATM.

BTW, I used to live and work in Culver City. My very first ad job. We jokingly called ourselves "The largest 4A's agency in Culver City." (I'm not sure that was even true.) Mallin outdoor furniture and 3D Bed & Bath were my big clients. Hang tags were my specialty.